I Often Wonder About Myself...

Monday, June 21


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FrustrateD

I am sure you have all heard of Karma. Well, there are several different views on Karma. One is the Eastern Philosophies. This states that a soul must be reborn a number of times until, basically, they get it right. It also says that if you are a *negitive* person in your past life, then your soul shall carry a karmic debt in the next. Now I get this e-mail from some wacko (I hope she is) internet psychic. She says she has an urgent message. Well she goes on and on about like nothing then says the reason I have such shitty luck is because I have *karmic debt*.

What would you think of this????
So I guess I was like this really mean person in my last life or some life before it. That is, if all this Karma stuff is true.

Also, recently my great aunt passed away. She was/is my mom's aunt. Well, I have had family members *pass* before her, but none of them were as close to me as she is/was. But for some reason (maybe it's denile)I am not as upset as I thought I would be. I cried, yeah. But I didn't slump into a great depression, nor did I flip out when my grandma told me. I don't know what this means. Have I become a heartless biotch? Or do i (subconciously) know she is MUCH better off where she is, or that I will see her again? I don't know....just something that was on my mind.

But I have to go call my sissy now.....I love you all......I think??? LOL

~PeAcE~

~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~


8:28 PM
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Friday, June 18


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Hi People In Cyber Space

Well, yesterday, I entered this Father's day contest for Josh. The local radio station was hosting it. So I typed up the e-mail about why he should win...HE DID!! He won for Thursday! I feel weird about it, b/c I told my story about last summer and the whole near death thing. It's all true, but I almost felt like I was saying *Hi everyone, please pity us b/c I almost died and in the process, our whole lives got f@$!ed up. So please say this poor man should win*. Oh I don't know. But he is happy, and that is what matters...Right?

Anywho! I have kinda sorta become friends with one of the DJ's from the station. It's weird right! I email her a lot b/c she has this section on her bio site with a journal and she will ask for tips and all. So me being me, I give her tips and all. Well, we ended up talking on AIM for quite a while off and on tonight.....and she really is sweet! I like her. And as we all know...I HAVE LIKE NO LIFE AND LIKE 2 FRIENDS!!!!! So I think she is helping me here! LOL

Well, I talked to my sissy a lot today. She is doing pretty damn good up in good ole Tennessee. LOL Amanda in TN! What's next? Me having a house and good credit?! LMAO But that's that.

I also talked to Jesse!!! YAY!! He lives!! LOL... Branden is so sweet sometimes. Yesterday he curled up with me in my bed and just kinda hung out there for a long while. AliciA is going to grow or somethin soon. All she has done for the past 2 days is slept and ate. She even fell asleep in my arms while I rocked her in the chair tonight!! WTF is up with this???!!!

I am so ti~red, no, not tired, but Ti~Red.

Ti~Red; the occasional feeling in which human eyes become unbearably heavy and emotions are uncontrollable, the ability to engage in intelligible conversation becomes absent (also see PMS, and motherhood)

LOL, GTG!

~PeAcE BaBeS~

~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~


11:20 PM
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Thursday, June 17


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I don't know why this made me laugh so damn hard...but it did. So for your enjoyment, tonight we have an e~mail about cats...LOL


How To Wash Kitty Kitty

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the
bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the
noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a
"power-wash" and "rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the
bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.

Sincerely,
The Dog


~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~


10:22 PM
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I have never been one to run from my problems...but latly I see why others do.

My son, just turned 4 years old, still won't take a shit in the damn toilet! My daughter, just turned 1, won't be happy unless to give her what she wants when she wants it! I am at my wits end with these two!!!

Josh, completely freakin oblivious as to what my life consists of. He won't let me get a job...*you know what happens to you when you get too stressed out and when you worry about the kids*.... any taketrs on this one? Can we say Intenssive Care Unit at nearest hospital? Yeah, that's me lil miss ICU mom. LOL

But what Josh does not understand that being in this god foresaken apartment day after day not having people to talk to or places to go, drives me up the freakin walls! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I seriously can't wait to go to my dad's house. Oh, but wait! Even there...my group of buddies, yeah, no longer there or interested in hanging out with someone who has kids. Half of them don't even write back or return my calls!

This happens to me like clock work. It's the Melissa 2 year cycle of life. Every 2 years I have some sort of nevous break down and end up hating everyone I see cept my babies. Then I casually go back to Oviedo and try to have the life I did when I was 18, but it never lasts more than a few weeks, and I end up back at the begining.

My whole life there has been something in my way. Something inbetween me and the rest of the world. I hate to say it but the majority of my life it has been my father or father figure. Now I have Josh over here who gives me shit for visiting my mother for the day. I get there and 30 minutes later he starts calling me! *When are you coming home?.....*I want to spend time with you*. P~UH~LEASE!!! That man's idea of quality time is laying on the couch watching, yours truly, do the daily thing....cooking, cleaning, feeding, and wishing I were not at home...oh well......such is lofe.

~PeAcE~

~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~


7:50 PM
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Monday, June 14


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Me MySelF & KidS

I am missin my sis! She is all the way in TN :( But it's all for the better. She really needed to get out of the God foresaken state and get a little air, stretch her leggies, and chill.

Anyrate.........
I have a family friend's kiddo here for a while. I am helping out for the summe. I don't know what else to say right now, I am in pain so needless to say I am well medicated! LOL ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!

~PeAcE OuT BaBy~

~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~


6:38 PM
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Tuesday, June 1


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This is a pretty cute e~mail I got the other day from my daddy dearest.......EnJoY!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors
by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and
condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement
was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every
move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time ....

TeeHee

~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~


1:44 AM
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"Broken"

*Shaun*
I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain, away
I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

*Amy & Shaun*
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away
*Shaun*
You've gone away, you don't feel me, anymore

*Amy w/ a lil Shaun*
The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain, away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

*Amy & Shaun*
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

*Amy & Shaun*
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

*Amy & Shaun*
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away
You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore

~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~


12:03 AM
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