I Often Wonder About Myself...
Wednesday, October 31
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Quick show of hands...
HOW MANY OF YOU THINK MY NEW COMPUTER WOULD COME WITH AN ETHERNET CARD!!!!!!!!!????????????
Anyone? It's a brand new *well month old* hp pavilion pentium3 with no ETHERNET CARD!!!!!!! The lady on the phone who sold me the dsl modem said that it has one, boy was she wrong. I got the modem today and went to install it. Come to the part when you plug the big funky lookin phone cord into the computer, well it didn't fit into the computer. So I call up Verizon and the guy tells me I have to go buy a damn et. card. Good thing is they are only $20 at walmart, bad thing is, thats the internal one that I have to put in.
Sow of hands... How many people think I won't be online for like 6 months because I screw up Pewter so bad i electircuit myself and Pewter dies and goes to Pewter heaven????!!!!!
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:52 PM
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Tonight We are trick-or-treating at Publix for a while and then we might run around at the apartments. Branden is a Moo Cow and I have decided to be a Zombie Chearleader. It was the only good one left at Walmart. I could have been a wizard or a wich but nah Zomble baby!!! Hope everyone has fun I'll take lots of pictues
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
12:35 PM
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Tuesday, October 30
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So I'm online and I stumble across some pictures of Amsterdam NY where I did a lot of growing up. So guess what my wallpaper is now!
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:52 PM
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Monday, October 29
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I am making beef stew!!!!!!!
It's been a thing of mine, whenever the temp drops I make it. I am eatin good tonight
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:58 PM
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*Dreaming*
I dream of a life with no worries,
I dream of a time when I don't have to worry about bio-terrorism
I dream of a secure future for my son
None of these dreams have proven true
I have dreamed of having the perfect family
I have dreamed of a life filled with love
And I have dreamed to be loved with as much love as I have
This, my friends, has come true
All I have to say is that you can dream, wish, and pray. But many of us have no say in what will come to be life as we know it.
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:57 PM
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So here we are, Old and gray. Well in like 50 years, but hey, who's counting? Anyways! Is it just me, or are we falling apart at a younger age? I've noticed that each year more and more people are age are stressed out more and sicker. A lot of us have more homelife stress or college stress. I know some friends that have both, college stress and mommy and daddy stress.
Everyday *when I was younger* My dad would do or say something that I vowed to never say or do to my kids. So far, so good. Although I do see myself doing a lot of things my mom did but thats okay. She did good. My mom always had faith in me and knew I would grow up to be a good kid. She never second guessed me. Yeah she punished me but I sure as hell deserved it! I was a Tom Boy for a long time *till 8th grade* and I'll be the first to tell you that I did my fair share of stupi sh*&.
The problem with a lot of parents today is that they pinish when not needed the most and let the bigger stuff slide. With that kids turn out bad, or different than others. I think the closer you are to your kids, the better chance you stand in them listening to right and wrong. I was never really close to my dad, I lived with the man for 6 years and I now call him once a week and talk to him more now then I did then. How messed up is that. I have a lot of good childhood memories of my mom, but I can't think of many with dad in them. I want things to be different for the kids Branden will be growing up with, and I know a lot of kids our age feel the same way.
I have no clue where I was going with this but whatever. I figured I would write about something that was off the wall. Take care
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:21 PM
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Sunday, October 28
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So here I am all by myself... Well I have the baby and dogs to keep me company. I am watching the game on TV like I am actually going to see Josh there. Hello Melissa!!! Well I have to finish cleaning and stuff. I'll be around.
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:15 PM
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OK!
Josh calls like... a while ago and says he is stuck watching the bathrooms at the place he works at because all the drunks at Gwavaween are trying to get in and it is only for the customers at his *classy* place of eating. Whatever!! So I am here doing laundry and writing in my blog that no one reads. But hey it's all good. I am so bored I just commented on Annie's blog and rambled my ass off! I am not right. Well.........
Josh is going to the Bucs Vs. Vikings game tomorrow. What fun I will have. Last week we spent his days off apart while he went off with mommy *his, not mmine* getting all the cars on the new insurance policy inspected, while I stayed with his dad, Branden, and the dogs *theirs, not ours* and went insane. Mom says I'm bad luck seeing as how everytime we go out something retarded happens. She plans on not leaving the house tomorrow. I'll have to see about that, now won't I? Plus she must get her clothes. We have a good thing here. She drives me everywhere *recap... I CAN'T drive* cleans my kitchen *almost* every day, and pulls me back to reality after she deliberately yanks me out. And I force her to let me do her laundry so I don't go insame when I have nothing to do.
Do you have any idea how many damn typeos I've corrected already?! Just imagine if the WHOLE thing was messed up. Ok I have officially given a whole new meaning to rambling!!!!!! HHHHHEEEELLPPPPP MMMMEEEE I have serious problems. I hope parents weekend went ok for all of you at Duke. Miss ya to all my friends. Kisses to whoever thinks they need em'
~M~
~B~
~W~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:32 AM
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Saturday, October 27
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Ok, So I have to waer this mouth guard at night *i grind my teeth* and it looks so flippin retarded!!!!!!!!!!!! I look like a monkey! It makes my top lip stick out like 10 feet and my lips are all chapped.
Anyways, I watched this movie that mom wanted me to watch and it is freaky!!! Its called Robin Cooks acceptible risk. Its weird . No news on the target thing yet. I'll check the papers tomorrow. Well i better go inlaws tomorrow:(
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:55 PM
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No Freakin Way!!!!!!!!!
Mom and I were all over the place trying to find stuff tonight... Well the last stop was Eckerds by the Target... We anyways, There were about five fire trucks and a ambulance driving off with lights and stuff. One of the trucks had its lader up on the roof of the target. We got some food from Burger King and drove back by to leave. Just when you think it's just a fire *cuz of the trucks and the lights were out* we see a FREAKIN SWAT TEAM INSIDE AND A GUY GETTING OFF THE ROOF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then ghetto bird shows up and starts circling!!!! I am so freaked out.
I am waiting for the news to come on to see what the hell is going on. What if it was a bomb scare or a anthrax scare!!!!!!!!???????????
A Very Scared
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
8:50 PM
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Why is it, that when you think you have a plan *with holding something from a man* it backfires???
Oh well! Anyways, I have money again!!! My stupid credit card people finally put my money back into my bank and now I have damn near $1000!!! I am now able to sleep better.
What is this?! The highs are like 50?! In Florida???!!! I am scared! Is the world ending? When I lived in NY, we thought this was warm! This is like shorts and a nice cozy T temp. But now I am all like * CHRISTMAS * Jeans and a long sleave T!?!?!?!?! WOW! No A/C!?!?! Normaly, it's like... *when the temp. plumates... To 80* But this is cold!
Ya know what goes great with this? Singing! And hot choc.
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:37 AM
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Friday, October 26
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Ok
So I am not right!!! I am a boring person and have no life. Well thats not entirely accurate, I went food shopping and made chicken parm. I also got the stuff for my famous beef stew!!! It's cold out, I am happy, I want some good food. So I bought it. And the best part is!!!!!!!! I only spent $50!!!!! And I got snacks too! Better go
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:05 PM
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COme and listen to a story bout a girl named mel
Poor lil girl with 2 dogs from hell
Then one day she was yellin at the kid
The dogs walked in just a wear a crusafix
Cross that is
Gold
With Jesus and all
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:03 PM
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Thursday, October 25
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I really hate it when that happenes!!!!! I lost a blog!!!
So, I am glad everyine seems to be doing good. Wel I am going to go be bored until er comes on
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:35 PM
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I seriously need to figure out how to put pictures on my bloggy blog. Because then everyone can see what a cute baby I am... I mean have!!!! I am so not right. Well things are getting back to normal. What ever normal really is. I don't think any one knows normal.
Do You?
Oh well.....
Ok, yeah, so I have been all concerned about a friend of mine who has had some hard time in the past few days... But why be concerned over someone who you know will bounce back and realize that life is life and we plan our own future! If we wanna live backasswards and start a family and then do the school thing, who is to tell us we are wrong?!?!?! NO ONE! SO there!
I know you will know what to do with your life, and that is why I will never think ill of you, or anyone for that matter. One of my best friends used to die her hair pink and wear dark clothes and every one thought she was a freak. The truth was she was one of the best people I met in my life. Annie talks about being fake, or putting on a front. My friends front was a freak. inside, when she opened up, she was damn near identical to Annie. That is why you should never judge.
Anyways. I have so many clothes to put away! This week I have no help, why you ask... because Josh burned himself at work... Really bad
LOUD THUNDER GOTTA GO
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
12:54 AM
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Wednesday, October 24
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I
AM
SUCH
A
NERD!!!!!
IASAN hmmmm new acronym
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:11 PM
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Yeah, so I went out with mom today and got some food wich I have yet to put away... Nothin parishable... I am still trying to get over this weekend! It was so tiring, it just went on and on and on and............... well you get the picture. Ya wanna hear how mad I got at the vet we boarded the puppie with??? Well here ya go.......
Melissa Willey
4502 Montego Bay Ct #1
Tampa, Fl 33613
(813) 971-9768
October 23, 2001
Connechusett Animal Hospital
In Regard to the care of the Willey animals:
To Whom It May Concern:
I am currently overwhelmed with the disturbance of a rather smelly situation I recently encountered after leaving my two dogs in your facility’s care. I specifically asked that Jazmin (my puppy) be bathed should she have any accidents in her crate. When she was brought out to us I noticed that she smelled really bad. I mentioned it to the woman who brought her out, but she just looked at me. When I returned home, I looked at the invoice and noticed that only my lab had an in house bath by your facility.
This would not be such a concern if I didn’t have to ride home with my head out the window. It really does bother me that you would allow an un-potty trained puppy to sleep, eat, and play in her own waste for 3 days! Not only is this matter unhealthy and unsanitary, but disgusting! To be blunt in my point of view
I am severely disappointed in the manner in which you run an animal hospital, and will not be using your facility for boarding, or any other situation which requires an overnight stay… Unless Someone can prove to me that this is not the way you generally operate such a business. I would also like to know what you will be doing to correct this problem and if there is anything else I should know. I will be expecting a response within the next few days.
Respectfully,
Melissa B, Willey
I was so mad!!! I called and went off before I sent the fax to them. The, since I was on a roll, I called my credit card and went off on them about when they took out 2 payments instead of one from my back and sent me into SEVERE debt!!!!!! What a bunch of idiots! But hey! I am intitled to an opinions, right? Ok, I am rambling and I believe that I have lost my ability to be hysterical :( :(
Dear God help me! I can't be funny! I need sleep and food and ... and a bunch of other stuff.
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:19 PM
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*Oh No, Mr. Bill*
OK!
I have been invaded!!! By this little person... with...with little rolls of fat...and...and cute little clothes...... Hey wait a tick!!! It's my BABY!!!!!
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:06 PM
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Tuesday, October 23
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OOOOOOOO
I saw this thing on the net, of Osama, and it had the Taliban behind him and a bunch of hippies in front of him... The hip. started to sing *Kumbiya* and half way through the song Osama and his peeps dropped their guns and started to cry!!!!!! Then when the hip. saw that they ripped open their shirts and they were wearing BDU's!!! Then Osama yelled F~~~. The threw gernades at him and he blowedededed up!!!
I guess you had to be there.
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:48 PM
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*HOME SWEET HOME*
I am HOME!!!!!!! Mom came over and helped me clean up. I got a new wrist brace at WalMart. And my puppies are back!
Ok, so here I am, @ home, with nothing to do and feeling very sick to my tum~tum :( :( BooHoo, I know Poor Melissa, blah blah blah.....
Anyways. I don't have much to say so I'll keep it short. I miss Josh:( He's at work. Oh well.... What to do, what to do????? Any suggestions? No, ok then I'll just go to sleep.......... Yeah, right! Thats a joke, and I mean a laugh your a@@ off joke. Better go do the wash or something
Love you all mucho mucho.
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:44 PM
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Monday, October 22
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I am so tired!!! I have only seen Josh for about 10 minutes today. We are suposed to go out later and I think I may take this op. to get my nails done! wow... something totaly stupid for me. I also have to get some stuff for tomorrow since I didn't plan on being here an extra day. Well then... Did ya'll like my silly song? I know I didn't lol
I got a bunch of free Mary Kay stuff from Dawn *stepmom* and it looks good... Yeah baby yeah! Anyways I am really bored so I'll go now
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:15 PM
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I MISS MY PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the blog that never ends
yes it goes on and on my friends
somepeople started typing it not knowing what is is
and they'll continue typing it forever just because
blah blah blah
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:31 AM
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*DAZED & CONFUSED*
Ok..... Not really but hey who gives... right? Here I am in Orlando, for two dats! It is so weird!!!!!
I moved around a lot when I was little but when I moved to Oviedo I stayed for like 6 years!! Since this is the longest I ever lived in omne place I feel like I am home no matter where I am here. I go to my Dad's, Steph and Val's the Crystle's even the high school and I feel like I am home!!!!!!! It's cool. But like Annie said before I don't belong here. I feel like I am at home but I'm not. My place now is in Tampa... My new home! I am close to my mom *right across the street* and thats really all I need. Sure we have those mommy daughter spats but thats normal. Its so cool tho because whe I go home I get to chill with her.
MOMMY I MOSS YOU!!!!
We went out lastnight *with no baby* and had some food and hung out with a friend. We got in at like 2am and it felt great!!!!! Sometimes I feel like I never left..... but then I look at all the new stuff that was built in the last few years and feel like I don't belong. When I left Oviedo, I ended a part of my life that I will never get back. But like I said before, you can always go back to that place and feel like a kid again, it's just the fact that it won't last more than a few days *if that* that kills you. So Annie I now know how you feel.
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:29 AM
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Saturday, October 20
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*It's Better To Be Pissed Off, Than Pissed On*
Ok all!! Lets recap...
Did you read the comment from yesterday's blog? Well go read the blog and reblog....................
Oknow you will understand WHY THE HELL I AM SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to get my nails done so i would be beautiful for Josh's birthday on Sunday. I planned on getting all dressy *which is a rare occurance for myself might I add* So of course I wanted some fancy nails to go with the decore... I have been saying for a week I wanted them, mom kept saying tomorrow. And yesterday *in writing* she promised me we would do it today!
"Melissa *she whined* I don't feel good, I don't wanna go" So me being me
"No mom I'm not mad it's okay"
Mom, If you are reading this I'm sorry but that was my plan and now I am calling the whole thing off because it's pointless. Not only that but I made the mistake of telling my father I was coming and now I HAVE to go see him or I'll never hear the end of it.
I am sorry to depress you all but if you haven't already heard the news... I am not allowed to drive because not a eye doctor in the world *within my budgett that is* can correct my vision enough for me to drive. Thus, I must depend on every one and their cuson to drive me everywhere. I know mom takes me places a lot ad stuff but I help her out too, and I was really looking forward to her taking me to the nail place!!!!!! I must be PMSing because now I wanna cry.
Crying is good!! remember that.
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:39 PM
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Well then!!! I guess Branden isn't ready for his nap yet! I put him down and he is having a conversation with some unknown entity in his room. Anyways! I called mom at like 10 and she was still sleeping.... OOOOPSEE!!!! Josh said he had to go take some guy from work to get his van fixed!??? I don't know! Today happenes to mark our 3 1/2 years to the date.
I am so happy that this blogger thing is cool! I don't talk to Annie that often but I get to find out whats new in her neck of the woods when I read her blog. This way its good for everyone! All my friends can read my blog when they can't call and basicaly see how my day was.
I am so not ready to go to Orlando!! It's not a recreational trip! We have to get the car inspected and stay with Josh's family. Moms online gtg
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
12:14 PM
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Lets clerify something... *:00am is way too early!
I remember before we had dogs, before we were a *family*. We just got in the car and went to visit the family. Now... we have to call the vet to board the dogs, make sure the baby has all his meds and clean clothes, go over the finances, blah, blah, blah.
I am not *complaing* about the dogs and baby, I just wish I could sleep in every day like I used to. *sigh*. Any-who... I am going to go wake up some more and dirnk a lot of coffee.
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:18 AM
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Friday, October 19
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After reading Annie's blog... I feel compelled to tell you all that there is a lot of beer at Guavaween! Not that I would ever go. I mean come on I am 20 and still get asked if Branden is my brother and then heads turn. I would get TRAMPLED!! Some one who isn't even 5 feet tall should go to large gatherings. I mean, hello! I lost my mother in the racks at Ross today!!!!!
Plus beer isn't my thing.
Well..... Once and it was NOT pretty!!!!
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I didn't get my nails done!!!!!! Mom had a fit when she thought about sitting there smelling the acrilic stuff for an hour. But I have to go tomorrow because we are going to Orlando this Sunday-Monday for Josh's 21st b-day and I have a secret mission! Heeheehee... Got the sitter and everything worked out.
O My God!!!! I have basicaly been ordered to do this..... *I love you all!!!!!! All my friends are really increadible people and super awesome!! I am BLESSED to like the zillionth power with my friends. I am so in awe of the amount of love people have for each other... Annie especialy. SHe is one of the most honest and caring and loving person I know. I must tell you if you aren't a friend of Annie's,..... You are missin out. I hope we are friends for like a long time.*
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:42 PM
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Thursday, October 18
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Can You Say *Speed Shopping*
Ok... It was like 6pm and I realized I needed to go to the store... Mom was here and I began my list. We walk in the store at 7:17. I said "ok... we have like 45 minutes to get the food and get home to watch must see tv."
We get in the car at 7:37! I was all like HOLY CRAP MAN! I spent $121.00 on... what... I don't know and got home to watch my tv! :) :)
How does she do it!?!?!?!? My secrets may never be revealed. Mom and I are going to go shopping for non-esentials tomorrow. YIPEE *or is it yipy, or yipi*. Damn... That is a really strange word. I think I shall get my nails done. I do the glue it yourself thing like every two weeks but they always fall off or they end up lop-sided. The Chinese people at the Salon will know what to do. It's only $20... right? Oh well.
Mom has met a stocker! I think we all meat one sometime in our lives (and if you haven't... Don't worry... you will)
I am so paranoid!!! Every little bug bite I get I start looking for a black spot screaming *ANTHRAX!! ANTHRAX!!!* How messed up is that? I would really hate to be a pot-head right now... From what I've heard about the *paranoid highs*... man that would suck!!! Well... not much to say.
Oh yeah... Little Branden isn't feeling good::(( Everyone must stop what they are doing and pray for his tummy...................................................
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Ok, I hope he's better with all the power of prayer behind him!!! I love you all too much... No I don't... You can't love too much!!!!!!!!!!
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:26 PM
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How cool is this?! I got comments on my blog now!!! Thanx to the talented Annie and her slick ways of changing the world *lol*
Ok, it was 10am and Josh rolls over and hands me the phone. I'm all like "who the heck is this"? Well because some one at Verizon decided to call me so early with a really good deal I accepted the mission! I will now have dsl!!! it's cool though because its free for the first month and only $30 for two months and then normal price. Plus I get a free modem and free pc camera!!! I really don't think I am equipt to handle this much excitement this early in the AM hours. Yeah Yeah I know. But hey I said yesterday I was WAY too easily amused. YAY ANNIE!! Thanx again babe.
Hope everyone is okie dokie
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:37 AM
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Wednesday, October 17
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Ok!! Goooooofball time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was getting ready to eat some frozen food *tyson's chicken breast stuffed with bracholi and cheese* which is the best... And the box says TELL A FRIEND!!! I was already in a stupid mood from a conversation mom and I had so that just sent me over the edge...
I am NOT RIGHT... I am what they would call *special*
YEAY!! I got quoted on Annie's blog again! I am WAY too easily amused.
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:44 PM
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* LOVE *
How many of us actualy understand what *love* really is. I say only a few if any... People may think they are *in love* with someone, but not really know what they are feeling. I knew I was in love with a few people in my past, but now that I look back and know that I just REALLY liked them. I now know who I love, who loves me, and what love is. I can say the same for a few good friends.
We go through life saying I love you to our family and friends but never really know what we are saying. I can remember saying to my mom when I was about 6... "I don't love God, I don't know who he is" Back then we were trained to tell our mom's and dad's we loved them without really knowing what we were saying. One day about a billion kids woke up and said "yes, I do love myt mom and dad" They knew what love was. Maybe it came to them in a dream... Maybe they were smart and just figured it out.
Our parents spent years molding us and training us to be good people. Loving people. And without them we wouldn't know love.
Annie and Brent know love. They know that being apart from one another isn't the end of the world but sure as hell feels like it. "if we were going for really great guys here, i'm tellin ya, i would have married drew years ago. but... brent's... different" Do you know what this mean? It means that Annie knows Love! It means that she didn't settle on what she thought was a great guy, she went for the great guy that was for her and the great guy that she loves.
If you know love... you know it. I've been privaliged to know love for the past 4 years. I am in love with life, with my life, with our life together... I am in love with Joshua Mark, I am in love with all my friends, my friends that inspire me to write, to be free, to be me! I want you all to know love. A great person *and friend* once wrote... "I want people to see the love in my heart" I think thats what she said :) Anyways. I don't have a place for coments but please feel free to write me. I want everyone to know that I am a loving and caring person. And I have loving and caring friends, if you are a friend of one of my friends then you are my friends!!! Did that make ANY sense??????
I love you all...
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
5:56 PM
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Tuesday, October 16
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DOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Coke came out with a new diet coke.. Diet coke with lemon :) :) WOW! Finaly some change!
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
8:53 PM
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We went to visit our future house... Only problem... It costs $181,000!!!!!! I know, i know... How are we ever going to get approved for that much of a loan? Whatever. But I did find out that we can have it built 10 miles up the road for 20 grand less. :) It is a great house 4 bedrooms 2 1/2 bath with a den that could be a room. It is the most beautiful house I have ever seen! I used to think that about Annie's house *sorry babe* but this would be better because it would be mine.
Anyways... I know it is a long shot, but I made some phone calls and should be hearing back soon. I hope everyone's fall break went well :) I hear Annie had fun. Well... I guess I have nothing much to say.
So on that note...
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
12:18 AM
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Monday, October 15
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This is my new favorite Sting song... The Sahpe Of My Heart..........
He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for respect
He deals the crads to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden loaw of a probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance
I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades
I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost
I know that the spades are swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:24 PM
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Sunday, October 14
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Yeah, so I finaly cleaned the house and now I am tired. But hey it's all good.
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:05 PM
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It's Sunday. Didn't God make the 7th day to rest? If that's the case then my apartment won't get cleaned! I watched this movie on HBO "the professional" and this song by Sting was in it and the music to the song was also on a Monica song. I had to go download it. I love it now. It's called The shape of me Heart. Sting is so cool.
My tummy hurts :( And my mommy disapeared! One minute she's home and the next she's either asleep or gone :( Mean Mommy! J/K Anyways... SOMEONE CALL ME ANYONE CALL ME i AM SO BORED!!!!!!!!!!!!! Randy called me this morning YAY But he only talked for an hour. Only an hour what am I? A silly teen ager. Well not really I just have no life! Oh well... I am procrastinating again. Bad Blogger! I must go... I'l be back next year when my house is SPOTLESS! That'll never happen. You will all realize that you moms will always clean the house better than you can.\
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:17 PM
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Saturday, October 13
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Ok so I am a bum!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What else is new?!?!
Love,
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:49 PM
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So here I am... The pain has dulled and I am back to me... I think... Am I always this nutty?
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:45 PM
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>*Sometimes, when you open up to people, you let some of the bad in with the good*
I tought it was cute
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:13 PM
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~LIFELESS~
Ok... So I am a lifeless, stay home mom with two dogs and.. did I say I had no life yet? Anyways. I am at home on a Saturday night. I could be in Orlando chillin with all my budz, But I can't drive. I could be at a club with some friends, but I don't have any over here... So what am I doin you ask? I am writing in my blog. My son is asleep, the dogs are locked up for now, and Josh is at work. Oh yeah and mom is probably on the phone with some guy that has a great sense of humor and a LIFE!!! What is wrong with me?!?! I am watching the news. This is sad and depressing. All these people are dead! All these people have families. Man! Am I glad I move back to Tampa. Ya know what? I can't even get Randy to respond to my IMs! I will go cheer up and write something witty and histerical later.
Love,
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
8:10 PM
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"Painfully Disturbed"
Here I am at # in the afternoon... no shower, *yet* only left the apartment once, *to walk the dogs* and I feel like crap! EEEEEWWWWWWW! For those of you who don't know... I was in a car crash in 99 with Josh. I was 12 weeks pregnant with Branden *scarey*. We were stopped and a guy in a rather large truck hit us at 60mph! OUCH!!! :( I now have two herniated dics in my back *very painful* and today is no eception to that. I am in some of the worst pain ever! Normaly I can get in some strange yet comfy position and the pain is dulled, but today I have had no such luck. I used to take pills for the pain but they didn't work half the time. I took one for muscle spasms and one for the pain. But the catch is you can't take them together. So if it wasn't musclular I was SOL for 6 hours. After a while I gave up and just delt with the pain... * that was before the second disc blew* Oh well. To top it off I had a migrian lastnight and didn't sleep until I gave in and took the Excedrin Migrain. What a day!
Anyways!!!!!!!! I was so ready for Branden to take a nwp but apperantly he wasn't. It took a while, but he settled down. I was going to call Annie, but I don't want to bug her on her vacation. The only BIG thing that gets to me about living alone is that I still have to clean the house and stuff when I feel like crap. I know, I know... BooHoo. But I should go now since it sounds like I have about an hour and a half to clean myself and the house. Love you guys...
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:15 PM
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So I am fast asleep this morning, when Josh decides he's going to roll over, right on me! I suddenly had this increatible urge to pee. So this is why I am awake now. Branden must have been pooped lastnight because he is still sleeping. i am really too tired to be funny so I am keeping this short until I have like 10 cups of really strong coffee. Love you guys. Hope you all got home safe for fall break.
Love,
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
12:25 PM
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Friday, October 12
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I AM SOOOO NOT RIGHT!!!! Well neither is my mom. We were on the phone quoting Saturday Night Live reruns. How bad is that? Guess what!! You figue it out yet? Have another guess......................................................... Not yet? Well, I CLEANED MY ROOM!!!!!!!!!!! Hahaha. I crack me up :) (: Duoble smilies baby!! I am so not right! How can I fix myself? Any suggestions? No? Okay then, I'll just have to remain a nut. But hey that's cool because that is how all my friends know me. As a nut!
Oh yeah, get this. 2 days ago I put Jazmin *the puppy* in the bathroom *it's huge* so we could go out and not come home to a house full of misbehaived doggy stuff... Well anyway. SHE GOT OUT!!! How the heck did she manage to accomplish that one?!?!?!?! I can see how she got out of the kitchen when I put the gate up, but the bathroom? She can't reach the knob and even if she could only the super talented Babe Le` Strange * my old cat* could pull that off! Oh well. Animals shall never seize to amaze me.
Ok, so I have no life... What's your point?
TIMMAY! Mom has been talking to a guy online and his name is Tim, so we have given him the name of the infamous TIMMAY!... Well, I do believe it is time for me to stop while I am ahead. No, I am not *ahead* I am a person... I think. Ya never know when thoughs damn allians are comin' for ya...
Love,
*The Dazed And Confused*
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:32 PM
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I feel like a little kid procrastinating! I have to clean my room :(... No matter how old you get you will always have to clean your room. But the good part is that you can do when ever the hell you want!!!!!! :) WOW! I am so not right!
Thanx Annie~! I am also glad we have become friends all over again. Sometimes it feel like we didn't loose any time in our friendship. We haven't spoken to eachother in like 3 years and here we are. You are such a great friend. I hope I might be able to stop by and say hey while you're down here.
I miss all my friends so much!! :( Oh well, every one has a life to attend to and mine consists of cleaning my room! How 10th grade does that sound?!?! I love you guys and I hope you are safe.
Love Always,
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:46 PM
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Thursday, October 11
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Yeah, so i read Annie's blog and got emotionaly confused! I was sad, but happy, happy, but jealous. She is so lucky to have Brent. *sigh*. I remember feeling that way... Wait... I still do! It just sounds so much sweeter when someone else is saying everything you feel. *heehee* I really do wish her the best of luck. Annie you are one of my bride's maids! Oh well, I have had the WORST day ever!!! And it all revolved around money!!! I have discovered a new form of *window shopping*. It's called *Mel buys everything she could need or want at WalMart and the credit card gets denied* AND THERE IS $500 BUX ON THE DARN THING!!!!!!!!!!!! You get what you would *like* to have, but can't get it. What was that about?!?!?! Whatever. I have to go to sleep now I am BEET. I don't even care about the typeos. I love you guys
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:40 AM
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Wednesday, October 10
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Ok, Hold Up!!!!! I just heard that a letter at the St. Pete times was opened and it had a powdery substance in it. I DO NOT need this right now. It was bad enough hearing that if I would have staied in West Palm I'd be screwed anyways. But come on, why here, why now, why all of us? Anyone got answers? Let me know.
Love,
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
12:33 PM
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Good morning to all! I know you guys have been up for hours but I had the luxury of sleeping until 11am! Dude! Lastnight we were sitting on the couch and we heaqrd a car horn honking. The I said to myself thats an alarm. Then out of nowhere Josh looking out the window and started shouting obsenities at no one. Then my half asleep self said "hon... thats you car" he was all like i know and someone is stealing it. We ran outside and they ran off in their own car, but I was all freaked out and I called the cops and the funny part of the story is that a cop was stationed at the back gate to my complex because some one in a van ran through it. You mean to tell me he didn't hear the alarm!? He was probably too busy eating cookies and all that cop food. *pig*. My uncle would have been nicer. He just retired and I live in what used to be 'his area' oh well. Better go for now. Oh yeah! I am happy for my friend today because she is in a good mood and she is in love. AHHHH, young love. Such a sweet feeling. You know i'll be back later on. Yake care.
Love,
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:53 AM
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Monday, October 8
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[10/8/2001 10:46:30 PM | Melissa WIlley]
~ A LITTLE MORE ~
** Tonight, (in this world of terror) I have a favore to ask of everyone! If you have children, hold them ~a little closer~, ~a little tighter~. If you have a boyfriend-fiance`- or husband, treasure the love you are sharing ~a little more~, enjoy the love you make ~a liitle more~. Call you family and talk ~a little more~. If you are too young to (not quite) understand all of this... Tell you Mommy and Daddy you love them ~a little more~. If you don't have any of the above, you ARE NOT out of the loop, or an empty person. Just PLEASE, everyone, Pray for those who do. Pray for the families and their children, Pray for the people you do and don't know. It will all be worth ~a little more~.**
MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALL!!!
~M~
writen by:
Melissa Willey
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11:06 PM
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I hope you all Like this little poem thingy:)
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:46 PM
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To be Frank... Wait I'm Mel... Anyways I am pissed off about the Anthrax stuff. AS soon as someone got it the whole military got vaccinated and we are just left here to do what? Die? Suffer? Or run like bats out of hell? And if we do run we would probably take the shit with us! Is it just me or does the FBI and CIA *all those people* not notice all the coincidences invlolved in this. It happened on 911, one of the towers had the zip code of 10119 * the date backwards* . And anyone who knows the bible should know the story of *Sodom and Gomorah* here is a refresher for you... God was mad at the way the world had become, so he planned on desroying the city that had become the most degenerate. He gave the mostly inocent people the chance to walk away and He would in turn *save* them. The ones who looked back were turned into pillars of salt. So now take a second to think about the world............................................................................................................................................................... Ok times up... Did you come to the same conclusion? Just somethig for you to ponder on. God then gave the inocent the time and honor to rebuild the city. On another note Why did Bush decide to bomb people on a Sunday *of all days* on a full moon!!! Mom thinks he's the anti-christ. I just hope that my friends and family *and myself* are amung the inocent. I love you all and PLEASE DEAR GOD BE SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love,
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:16 PM
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Sunday, October 7
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Ok, I was too excited yesterday. I did my nails again. What fun! I was so mad that my chicken didn't defrost in time for dinner and now I have to make chicken parm today. But that ok. Then i made a cake and when I was transfering it to the plate it snapped in half. I glued it back together with icing. As soon as I set up my printer to the new computer I will have a page of pics for everyone viewing pleasure:) Having Steph and Val here was so cool. We listened to music that we listened too in HS and I felt like nothing else mattered at the time. I forgot about being on my own and all the stress of life. So Annie, the summer that ended all summers isn't over for good. You will always be able to go back to that time. Yes, you won't *physicaly* be a kid anymore, but you don't have to loose the mentality of being a kid. I know you think that everything will change but it doesn't have to. You have your best friends and they will always be there to bring out the kid in you. Look at me... I am a someone's MOTHER! And I often go back to being a kid. I believe that people have to keep a certain amount of child like behavior in their hearts or they won't be as happy as they could be. I am going to a concert in a month and I am leaving my maturity and adult stuff behind for the night. This doesn't mean I'll go roll a house, but it does mean that I will be a kid again. I am a kid at heart and I always will be. The Toys R Us song comes to mind right now. I'm not saying growing up and going to college is bad, I am just saying that you will always be able to go back and be a best friend and a kid once in a while. From just talking to my friends *all of them* I see that they haven't changed a bit. They are the same people I knew 3 years ago. It's just that some of them are in college or already started their careers. I'll shut up now. I have a house to clean and loud music to listen to. I love you guys so freaking much it hurts. You are all my best friends, and I love talking to you guys and hearing what the heck is goin on where ever you are. Have a great weekend and talk to me. I'll always listen to my buds:)
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:44 PM
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Saturday, October 6
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YAY STEPH AND VAL ARE HERE I'LL WRITE LATER
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
~m~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:23 PM
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Friday, October 5
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YAY, YAY, YAY!!!!!! Annie gets to see her *Superman* I think thats what I shall call him. Beacuse he is *super* sweet to Annie and all the other *super* stuff he does for her. I am in a goofy mood. :) This is cool! Annie gets to see Brent and two of my really close friends are coming over tomorrow. They are cool. Annie, Val and Stephanie Benz say hi and send their love. :) I know how my very cool friend Annie feels about seeing her BABY tonight, I used to love being away from Josh so that we could see eachother *ya know, the whole absence makes the heart grow fonder thing* But after living away from him for a month I think the weekend away thing is all I can handle. So I feel for Annie. OOOOOOOOOO... I get to make chicken Parm tomorrow!!! I love that stuff. Well I have to go to the office and talk to *My Chaz* about last nights must see TV on NBC...
LOVE YA GUYS!!!
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:43 PM
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Thursday, October 4
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OK, I am TOTALY!!! Freaked out about all this crap going on. *A case of Anthrax*... a case someone just doesn't get ~A CASE~ we are not stupid and I am sick of being treated like an idiot. I know I know I am completely over-reacting but come on, how does someone just pop up with Anthrax. Gee, let me call in to work ... *ahhh hey boss man, I don't think I can make t to work today, yeah my anthrax is actin up again. Sorry* Please. If we aren't suposed to ~worry~ about it then why does the military have to get vaccinated?! The whole military! And plus they are all sayin how the state of Fl is the *nerve center* of all this shit. Okay I have to go BARF now this is making me sick. I love you guys.
~M~
ps
Annie, one day!!!!!
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:37 PM
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Tuesday, October 2
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I just read a blog that is so freakin true! Annie, you are awesome! We all end up waking up one morning and feeling like we have a choice that was never offered to us. I was 16 when it happened. I felt knew for once in my life that I didn't have to live up to everyone's expectations. I knew I had the right to live my life the way I wanted to. Most of you know I took it to the furthest of extremes, but i ended up happy. If I would have continued to listen to my father *who put me down on a daily basis* I would not be where I am, my son would not be here. I would still be stuck in a room with my now 9 year old sister. I would still be playing mother to someone I grew to hate because of *the mommy role* I played. But because I chose a path in my life that was painful at first I love Kearstin with all my heart and love to call over there just to talk to her and see how she is. We all have choices, we all reach a fork in the road at some point in our lives. In fact we reach many of them. Eventhough the choices and forks are there many of us choose to ignore them or be oblivious to the fact that they ever appeared. I can remember ignoring some and choosing some. One of my choices was to stay a Catholic or not. I explored my choices, I went to different churches, but I never felt complete with them. I didn't get much out of it. This is why i am havng my son Baptised in a Catholic church. When he is older he will face a fork in his road of life, and that fork will allow him to choose to stay with Catholisism (is that a word) or go a different route. No matter what we coose our friends and family will back us 100%, even if they don't approve at first they will learn to accept our choices. That is why they are family. I don't care how old you are or how comtroling you are, you always LEARN and ACCEPT the paths in life. Annie, thank you for inspiring me to write. Ans thank you for being a good friend. I luv Ya!
Luv You All,
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:56 PM
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Monday, October 1
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YAY!!! Mommy came over to see me. Well, kinda. She had to wash the clothes, and the washer and dryer happen to be in my apartment. Ok, it's monday night at 8pm and I am home watching the Simpsons! What Is Wrong With ME?!?!?!?! Oh well..... I don't have anything really interesting to say so I am going to watch tv and go to sleep. KNowing me I'll be back with the boring details of my insomnia.
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
8:04 PM
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OK! It has been proven! I have no life! I walk up to the Hess satation to get a pack of smokes. I walk in and the cashiers look at us and go *Hey Branden*. They know my kid by name! That is either pathetic, or I just have a really cute kid. I do believe it's he second choice. I will be sending pictues pretty soon.
Luv Ya guyz
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:28 PM
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Ok, I admit that I was not in the best of moods lastnight, but it happens when you are severly deprived of sleep and stress has taken control. I get to see one of my BESTEST friends in the whole wotrld this weekend! Val is coming!!! YAY!!! 4 Days Annie! I'm still counting with ya:) I am in such a better mood today! PMS..... KISS MY A$$! HeeHee. I can't wait to see by buddy! But you all *whoever actualy reads this* need to make her not babysit so she can stay longer:( She's dissin me for little kids! *how rude*. J?K HeeHee I feel goofy. I am going to go now. I will most deff. write later.
LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
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2:38 PM
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I am sitting here *bored as ever* looking at Josh passed out on the couch wondering if life is going to be like this forever! I love him with all my heart, soul, my everything. I get so mad at him sometimes. I get so mad I cry! How can I get so mad, so frustrated with the man i am going to spend the rest of my life with?!?! But I know that the anger and pain will pass. I feel so bad because of what he goes through for me. I am always in the hospital. I have been on deaths door more than 5 times in the past 2-3 years. I can't get a stomach virus without ending up in the hospital for days on end. Yet he is there. He is there with a kiss for me even in the grosses of times. How can i get mad at him after he's done that? I know I am not going to outlive any of my friends and that scares me! KNowing I could have a heart attack or stroke, knowing that I may be alone when it happens. How can someone love me knowing this?!?! I would go through hell for my family! But knowing someone would do the same for you is hard to believe. How can I get mad at him?! If my friends knew the severity of my illness... They would totaly FREAK OUT! Annie, i read your blog and I admire that you feel that way. But it scares the hell out of me because I am not ready, I know I have more to do. Just bringing my son into this world took 10 years off my kidnies. I am so in love that when I am mad at him, I get more mad at myself. Again this is why *I Often Wonder About Myself*! He doesn't understand how I feel, because he doesn't really know. And yes this is my fault. I am so emotional! I hate PMS!!!! I REALLY DO!!!!!!!!!! I don't have the strength and the energy to do some of the smallest tasks in my days. I can't take a day off, and that makes me mad at Josh. Why? I don't know! I need sleep. I think I am jelous! I am depressed and emotional but I promise it only happens once a month, but it hits hard on a quarterly basis. :) I love all my friends and you will all be at my wedding (whenever that may be)
I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!
~Melissa Brooke Willey~
~ Love * Love ~
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12:05 AM
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