I Often Wonder About Myself...
Thursday, October 30
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
Check out some of my new links up top....You may like them....If you are in my neck of the woods;)
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:57 PM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
Well, Branden goes to the ENT tomorrow....Yay :/ I don't know where you guys are, but here in Florida we are getting cool weather! Can you belive it? Funny thing is, I am saying it's cool but it in the 80's! I miss NY! My uncle's ex is taking him to court! She is such a bitch. She wants $400 more a month for CS. How screwed up is she? N/M I already know the answer to that one. Mom met some guy online and they are getting along well. He has a really cute kid too. My sister isn't doing well with the divorce thing. She thinks she can be like Marry Kate and Ashly by getting them back together. She is so cute, yet naive. I don't have a whole hell of a lot to say tonday. So that was the run down of it all. I can't wait for tomorrow! BJ is going to be Harry Potter, and Ali is a cow. LOL
C~YA
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:39 PM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
Sunday, October 26
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
Ok then.....
It's 6am and I am awake. Branden woke up freaking out bad! Don't know why....Maybe he had a bad dream, anyways this will be fun. Should I brew the coffe? Make the best of it by starting the day REALLY early? I don't know what to do this early. The only thing I can think od is find a church with a 8am service. Yeah, like Josh would go for that! He isn't very church like. I need to get my kids baptised, but i need to go to NY to do it. I want it done at my old church up there. It was cool.
The inly thing that gets to me about churches is a lot of them are so boring! And if you wear street clothes or even something casual/dressyish, you get looked down apon. I went to a few churches that didn't have that standard, but I was so used to it that I felt out of place. I am a catholic, so you can kinda sorta see where I am coming from, right?
SO I lost all my witty away messages on AIM. I had to reformat the PC and totaly forgot to save the messages! What an idiot. Anywho. I think I am going to go make some food or something. I am starting to rumble here!
Love ya'll, and have a nice day!!!!!!!!!!
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:21 AM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
Tuesday, October 21
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
!!!OMG!!!
Ok, I may be moving to Michigan! WTF? Josh got a job offer/transfer up there. I know absolutley no one up there. What am I supposed to do? Someone save me! Tell me you'll come with me. I would love to hear it. Also, if you are reading this thingie and you happen to be in MI *Oakland county area* lemme know....K?
I talked to one of my bestest buds and told him he needs to come with. Hey Jess! LOL I am so retarded tonight. I took 2 buspar and a nap so i am good to go. Now I just need the tylenol PM to kick in so I am not up till 6am again...*thanks BJ*.
Oh I don't know spanky, what to do, what to do. Such is life i guess. I went to my doctor today and he said I was as good as new, minus the uterus or lack there of, and I don't hafta go back till next year! I am almost upset abnout that! I like the guy and will miss my weekly visits! So I am healed up all good and don't have to worry anymore. Girls get jelous now. I have no moe periods *dances and sings*..
With Love
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:16 AM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
Thursday, October 16
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
Would anyone like to join me on the veranda for a panic attack???
Ok, so the pass thru bar in my kitchen feel off the freaking wall the other day! So the contracter came out and said Oh I can put that back up easily. So freaking what! What about the cabinets from 1965??? They are supposed to replace all of them!!! But nooooooooooooooo........God forebiid they do something constructive to my ghetto apartment. I am saying this toyou all! Never move to Greenwich commons in Tampa! I hate this place! They haven't fixed any of the problems with my apt. since we lived here, and we have had the same problems since day one!
Soory for the rage........
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:53 PM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
Wednesday, October 15
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
So the day is done....... Kids are in bed (with some complaining and fussing) I ate dinner and I am so freaking tired! I am so tired I feel like I took tylenol pm! Ever feel that way? Well I guess it's possible. Josh is like wide awake over here. What's with men? How can they stay awake like that? I can, but I will be worth shit later on. I can only do it when I am around my friends. The fun ones at least....LOL Hey Guys!
Well, I think I may attempt this bed thing. Maybe even a shower! WOW
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:36 AM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
Tuesday, October 14
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
A Day In The Life Of................
So we went to Wal*Mart......(yes! I do live there) and put $400 worth of stuff on layaway for the kids. I am so excited! This year our kids are having a good Christmas!!!!!!!!! Branden hasn't ever really gotten a lot from us before. We are always so damn broke. But this year he has some stuff he will really love! I cannot wait to watch him open everything! Ali doesn't have a whole lot just because what do you get for an infant!?!?!? She does have some good stuff though. I didn't want to load them up on clothes, so they each are getting like 4 outfits total and one pair of shoes each. Sound good?
I have wanted to get Josh a cd player for the car for like ever! I got him a portable cd player 2 years ago, but that thing is beat to shit. Only thing is now I don't want to do it because we may be getting a new car, and that would be a waste. We want a new Camary. Or a SUV. LOL So what do I get him???????? If anyone has any suggestions, go ahead and throw them into my comments thingie. Hope ya'll have a good day!!!!!
Love,
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:57 AM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
Monday, October 13
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
I am so mad now! I cannpt figure out how to put my comments on the other side under the posting info!
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:40 PM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
Branden did the cutest thing ever!!!!!!!!
We were playing Linkin Park's Meteora today and he started singing along with Faint!
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:27 PM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
Another Day, Another Dollar......(Spent That Is)
It was off to the Mall and Staple, then Outback and Wal*Mart. At Wally world we got the kids some new clothes for the cool weather that better be here some time this year and BJ got a new toy. We are going to go back and put some stuff on layaway for Christmas. I would like to get in there before everyone else goes and takes the good shit.
On another note! I had a dream lastnight, about two of my guy friends. They are my two best guy friends, Jesse and Mike. It was one of those really weird dreams that you hardly remember but i think I had that dream because I am mad at Jesse's mom and I miss them all. They sold their house and that was like my little sanctuary! I always went there when life got to be too much to handle. I think it was mostly because they had a more carefree attitude towards life. Don't get me wrong! They cared about a lot, but they were understanding and caring and so not your typical parents and all. I always felt welcomed there, wish I could say the same about my own family!
Anywho! I no longer have that house to go to!!! I will make it a point to get over to see Jesse and them soon though! I don't think I could do much without those guys. I miss them so much! UHG! Oh well. What can ya do? Right.......
I guess I am going to go and feed the kids, maybe I'll eat too. Hope everyone is otay!
!!Love Yas'!!
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:18 AM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
Sunday, October 12
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
"Breaking The Habit"
Memories consume
Like opening the wound
I'm picking me apart again
You all assume
I'm safe here in my room
(Unless i try to start again)
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
Cause inside i realize
That i'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why i have to scream
I don't know why i instigate
And say what i don't mean
I don't know how i got this way
I know it's not alright
So i'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
Clutching my cure
I tightly lock the door
I try to catch my breath again
I hurt much more
Than anytime before
I had no options left again
I don't want to be the one
The battles always choose
Cause inside i realize
That i'm the one confused
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why i have to scream
I don't know why i instigate
And say what i don't mean
I don't know how i got this way
I'll never be alright
So i'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
Tonight
I'll paint it on the walls
Cause i'm the one at fault
I'll never fight again
And this is how it ends
I don't know what's worth fighting for
Or why i have to scream
But now i have some clarity
To show you what i mean
I don't know how i got this way
I'll never be alright
So i'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit
I'm breaking the habit tonight
*Linkin Park*
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:07 AM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
..........Daily Dilema Is..........
I miss my sissy! I feel like utter shit b/c I told her I was going to try and come see her this weekend but we have a meeting on Sunday with some internet business thingie! This completely sucks b/c when we went to Orlando I figured the whole thing would be completely rotten! But I got pregnant.........and I never thought that e and Manda~Panda would ever be this close again. So with that.....when I called and we started hanging out again I didn't give it muvh thought. Then when I moved, I actually missed Orlando! WTF!!!!!!! How messed up is my little head?
So here I sit, typing away, bored out of my mind, and sissyless!!! *sobs loudly*
On another note. I got done feeding Alicia tonight and she fell asleep, I put her in her playpen and gave her a little kiss, I then walked into Branden's room and said to myself *awww, my little angel boy* I sat on the end of his bed and cried for like 5 minutes. Just praying and thanking God for these two *our only two* beautiful children.
Recently my bestest bud lost her little angel, it hit us all really hard. But it's ironic. The way it worked is I found out she was preggers the day after my hysterectomy. I can no longer have kids, and then she lost one right after that! So while I am still mourmning the loss of all our future children, she is doing the same for her one. I swear she is like my twin. Ya know, that whole twing thing? Weird, huh?
Well, I have a nice fun busy day ahead of me!!! I need to get a new cellie! Someone help me!
Lots 'o' Love To Ya,
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:03 AM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
Friday, October 10
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
Ok, Here we go again!
I feel like some sort of Suzie Home~Maker over here! LOL I have been making scrapbooks for the kids, which is cool, but come on! That and I cook and clean and all that BS. But I guess that's what being a SAHM is all about :)
Alicia decided to babble so much yesterday she lost her voice lastnight. I felt bad but it was kinda funny......She was trying to babble when she woke up from her night nap and it came out all horse and crackly. She looked at me like *mom? what's goin on here?* She went back to sleep some after that one. Branden on the other hand! LOL He actually went to sleep lastnight! YAY! I don't know how many of you know this but he has been testing me a lot lately. He will sit up in his room and not go to sleep until like 11 or 12! Really was pissin' me off for a while. Then I realized that the more I got mad the more he had fun doing it. So I would just go in there every 20 minutes and tell him to go to sleep, all nice and calm. I didn't let him know I was upset or anything. So I messed with him the other night.
Wed. night we took him to Wal*Mart and got home at like 11:30. I changed him and put him down and he was out withing 15 minutes. Then he slept until 11:30 yesterday!
!!!SWEETNESS!!!
Anyrate! Do you guys ever feel like you need to prove yourself to anyone? I bring this up because I heard someone say that they felt the need to do this. Josh once told me that if anyone ever asked him to do that then he would know it was a situation he shouldn't be in b/c no one should ever say that to you. I took that and pondered. He was right! Who the hell would make you prove yourself to them?! I have gone my whole life hearing parents tell their kids that they have to prove themselves, i was never told that.....Why would you say that to your kids? To me, that is degrading. That's just telling them that you are bigger and better than they are and they need to catch up to you. They will in their own time, not when you tell them to. So let me ask this of you all......Please don't ever feel that you have to prove yourself to anyone in your life. If that's what they need you to do, then they aren't worth the time and effort. You are all better than that, and deserve better....
Well, that was my motivational rant of the day....I will be around on aim and all that crapola today!
!!Love Ya's!!
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:12 PM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
Thursday, October 9
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
Hey everyone!
Yeah, Like anyone reads this thing? LOL Anyrate! I was ondering *shush*.......Does Canada have equifax, transunion, and expierian? If not I am so there dudes and dudettes! Well, ok. Since we last spoke..........
When I moved to Orlando, I decided to call an old friend of mine that I knew back in middle school thru high school. A long time ago we got into a tiff and kinda sorta stopped talking. Well, I call her right, and we started to talk again and eventually hang out. Then became bestest buds. I swear we are closer than we were back in school. It's so weird too! We both did the same shit in our lives at the same time/age. She is a year younger but we are on the same track! We both worked for the same company at the same age, we both had our first kid at the same age. It's just freaky! HEY HUN!!!! LMAO
So I dunno.......I now have the cutest baby girls! Yes, girls one is mine and one is hers! LOL This sounds really bad, but I think of her more as my sis than I do my own sis sometimes. Kearstin is so much younger and such a little stuck up snob! God forgive me, but come on peoples! She has really turned into someone I don't know. Whatevah!
So I am all ready to have like my tenth nervous breakdown over here! We foubd out that Branden has significant speak delay due to hearing loss from cronic ear infections! Well that's why I can't understand him!!! *smacks head* And his ENT wasn't doing anything about it and in turn pissed off our pediatrician....So we got another ENT. This woman knows her shit too! Ummmmmmm, Lets see.......
Josh and I are doing pretty good. We have been arguing a lot more the past few weeks because I am so tempramental. I am a little depressed because I am completely infertile. Apparently that gives me mood swings! LOL Poor Josh. Alicia, our newest member, is a smart one. She is doing everything so much faster than BJ did. But I heard that girls do that. See, we show em' up from day one! Hey girls!!! LMAO
I dunno.....I guess I have rambled enough for right now. I will talk at ya'll laterz! Hugs and Kisses to you guys who happen to stumble upon my bloggie blog and read it!
Luv~Luv
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:33 PM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
~(~@--------------------------------oOo-----------------------------@~)~
I haven't written in over one year! But here I am. I had the absolute worst time in Orlando! But I did get pregnant and have a baby girl named Alicia! LOL I had fights with Lynn all the time and just hated the whoile situation there. We got thrown out in May of this year and moved in with my mom. We got our own place and Alicia was born a few days later. We are on our own again, thank God, and doing well I may add. The kids are huge!
I did have a unfortunate thingie. In June, 3wks 6days after Alicia was born, I had a really bad hemorrhage. It stopped and started 3 times and the last was real bad. I almost died right there in the recovery room of the Women's Center. I lost more than half of my blood volume and required a lot of transfusions. I had an emergency D&C to stop the bleeding then I had a hysterectomy a week later. 3 weeks later I got to come home and lay on the couch for 5 weeks. Josh lost his job, and Branden would listen to me anymore. Alicia didn't know who the hell I was and had to get used to the stuff in the bottle, not the good stuf.....LOL..... I am better, just missing a big part of my life. I am still really deressed about it but hey! What can ya do>
Love Yas'
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:58 PM
0 Peoples Feelin' The Love
Leave Some Love / Read The Love
~(~@------------------------------oOo------------------------------@~)~
