I Often Wonder About Myself...
Tuesday, February 26
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Ok, so I vowed to never let any of my children watch Barney.....needless to say this was well over two years ago before I knew that you will do ALMOST anything to get them to sit still long enough for you to cook dinner. So Branden ate fish stix and watched barney while i cooked and cleaned and did all my *mom* stuff. I love my baby! He's my angel! My shining star, my little bug! well...you get the point...
I just recently got in touch with an old friend of mine. We were like best friends for a few years and then we just kinda went different ways.....Well Junior year we raninto eachother and said we'd keep in touch...3 years later I track her moms name down online and call...lol... Her mom told me she was in school and she would have her e-mail me seeing as how i am long distance...well I called this morning *i think I gave the wrong email* and talk to my onld friend Mandi...She is in school now and we both have kids! She has a babyt girl younger than BJ. She said she was gonna call back but she hasn't. I don't blame her! School and a baby!? WOW!!! She's got some motivation, let me tell ya that! I really hope we can keep in touch now. I get kinda bummed sometimes, because I have no friends with babies! It's like everyone in High school had one but I wasn't *friends* with them, persay, And with all the teen pregnancies and young moms you always hear about you'd think I would know a few! I have no one to relate to! It kinda sux! But at the same time...I absolutely love the time I spend with my precious baby boy:) For now I must go and clean yet again...and be productive!
Love,
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:27 PM
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Sunday, February 24
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I slept peacefully thru the whole night lastnight for the first time in years!!!!!!!! I wole up and wanted more!! I was so happy......I got up and laid next to Josh on the couch until I knew I would pass out again if I didn't get up....so with that I made coffee and had a banana. I have all these plans for the day since I am awake and feel good. But I know I need to pace myself or I'll be worth nothing in like 3 hours...lol...
So on another note.....Eddie had me doing some of the easiest yet frustrating stuff yesterday.....but it's done! I am so bored! I need some friends and something to do other than cleaning and stuff....I have been reading a lot! I am on the last book of the left behind series! yay!
Mom and I had sooooooooooooooooooooooo much fun last night!!! We were on the internet for like ever laughing our butts off at people's profiles! It's sounds mean but it really wasn't! I swear! I laugh at my own sometimes....It's just really funny how peop;e word things sometimes and how you can often wonder what they were on when they wrote their profiles! lol so anyways! we were doing that until 9pm and I had only slept for 2 hours the night *morning* before so everything was hysterical to me!! Ya know what I'm talking about, right? when you are so tired you can't really sleep or you're so exhausted you are beyond tired and sleep is the furthest thing from your mind and you just laugh at the stupidest things! I'm sorry...maybe it's just me but Thats how it goes.....I should go now! Love all you guys...have a great day!!!!! We cheat on Sundays right? lol
Love,
~MeL~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:43 PM
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Friday, February 22
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So Annie is a big band dude's girlie! lol I am so happy for you all in the I-4 band!!!!!! I haven't met any of you but you all sound cool and the music is GREAT! anywho!!!!!!! It's been raining ALL day!!!
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
8:49 PM
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Monday, February 18
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Here we go again!
Annie as, yet again, inspired me! lol
Annie says we all have our own veiws of life and reality and that we try to make *our world* the dominent. I agree. I see the world as....well.....to me, Life is a dream! Sometimes I lay in bed and think. I wonder. How in the heck can someone create this all?! I know the answers, but ever since I was about 10 I termed life as a dream. And when we wake up....we'll be in heaven, well some of us. hopefully all of my friends and family. My reality is confuing! I have that *psychoanalytical mind and yet I push it aside at times. I can see both ends of the spectrum. I can see where Darwin gets his theories, doen't mean I believe we came from apes! And I do believe in God and his role in our lives. I do see how we all think differently and how some of us are on the same train of thought.
We all have different understandings in life. And that doesn't mean just because you neighbor goes to a different church and has a different religon, their going to hell! It just proves the differences in the world. Think about how complex the world is, and how i=worse off we would all be if we all thought the same about everything! We need contriversy, and differences of opinion! And yes, Annie, Freud was an air-head. Just because some guy once said that all men have a fanticy to be with their moms, doen't mean we can say something stupid and term it as a Freuidian slip! I know I do it but I don't believe that that's what it really is......I believe I am an airhead....typical blond at times. I really am going really nowhere with this and it's not like anyone reads this.....I just l;ike taking annies stuff and expredding my views on it.......it's fun and I have nothing better to do! Annie, If you read this and don't want me to do it....TELL ME i'll not do it! but for now I must go...I love you all and God Be With You!!!!!!
:)
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:21 PM
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Sunday, February 17
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*Branden~ology*
Na-na = night night....which he says when he's tired
NO! = need I say more?
key = codi....I thought he was callin him kitty lol
uh huh = yes, sure, yeah mom whatever.....
no na na = aparently he's not tired
DA AAH = That would be Josh
Mah = thats ME!!!
g'mah = my mom
wha's'sis = what's this
uK! = look
more to come later, but I thought that was something cute to throw on here!
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:57 PM
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So boredom has finally taken over my life!!!!!
I cleaned I am going to cook and then other day I did everything I wanted to! I have been feeling a little more human lately. I think the cronic fatigue has temporarily subsided! lol I wish! I just get these energy bursts I haven't gotten in at least 3 years!
I used to do it all! I played softball, rollerbladed, did the basketball thing, *till I realized I would never dunk* danced while I sang, I did everything for myself! And now I only hope and pray that when I wake up I have the energy to get out of bed and turn on the coffee pot. It's sad sometimes but I think my family is trying to make it hard for me so I am distracted. I don't have a lot of help and not many poele offer, so with that I am forced to do it all alone. Which in a way is good! Ya see, I have to be forced to do my daily activities or I'll never do them, I'll sit around on the couch and wish I didn't feel pain. I end up doing that at the end of the day, but It's nothing like when I was 18.
When Branden was an infant it was so easy!!!!! I slept all the time *because he did too* and I had nothing to do, so I rested Like i'm supposed to. But now that he's a toddler.......I have to be awake from 9am till I get everything done and crash. Life is hard but don't ever believe what people say about have a baby.......Your life is NOT over, you will go to the movies, and you will sleep at night. Either that or I have the bestest baby in the WORLD!!!!! I love being a mom and I wouldn't trade that for anything....EVER! And I would never do something different so that the outcome wouldn't be the same. Yeah, it's hard at times, but It is so awsome to be called mom.
Well thats all for now!!!!!!!!!
Love ya
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:52 PM
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Tuesday, February 12
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OK Then!
I went to Target with mom today and got some stuff for Josh! *happy grin* and we also went to Shoe Carnival! *HUGE grin* so I better get like......oh....i dunno? maybe a day off! lol yeah right! So anyways! what are you guys getting your *significant other*?...well better get goin! YAY can't wait to see what he thinks
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:38 PM
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Every now and then, I get the craving for music that no one has ever heard of! Like the Indigo Girls. Not many poeple have ever heard of them, but I have! lol My stepmom and I used to stand in the foyer of our house and sing up to the walls....*great singing accustics in there* and it was always the same thing we sang. Country or folk or something like that. And when I wanna sing something that will pull me out of depression *or shove me deeper in it* I sing that stuff. I miss being there. I miss just singing with her. We work well together, vocally, and I miss her a lot. Oh well......what can I do? lol I feel a visit home comin on.
So how are all my readers today? lol we all know just about 1, maybe 2, people read this thing! But thats okay! I am not writing for you guys! lol.......My dear friend brought up the subject of high school yesterday. I miss HS and I would go back in a heart beat. The only difference is, I would do it so much better! I wasn't the best of students and all my friends were! They all had A's in like everything and I never did, well I had an A in chorus and ROTC, and English until I got Mrs. Harrell!!!!!! So, yea, I would do it again, as long as I didn't have to start from the very begining! I hates 9th grade nothing good came out of that year! At the end of the year I had some friens that got me on COL.'s good side and made go into ROTC, but take my advice! never date a guy that has 3 younger sisters and isone of 2 men in the houseso anywho!
I think I'll go sing now, I need to destress myself!
~Melissa~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:21 PM
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*.....and the less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine* ~ Indigo Girls~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:51 PM
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Sunday, February 10
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I go to Publix yesterday and spent $117.00 on 12 items! The majority of it was my meds but hey who cares, right? So anyways! You know how people sometimes say *you looked so peaceful, I didn't wanna wake you*..? Well heres one for ya!
*clears throat*
*Well, I was kinda affraid to wake you up this morning.* ~Josh~
*uhhhh....Ok? Why?* ~Me~
*Well, you looked pissed! You looked like you were really pissed off and I didn't know if waking you up you
benefit anyone.* ~Josh~
*Ok?* ~Me~
Well I didn't sleep well and I was in a lot of pain when I woke up. So needless to say anyone with in arms reach of me when I woke up or got woken up would have been screwed. But I was nice. lol OH YEAH!!!!
Get this one! I gave the baby a bath, right? well anyways. I get him out of the tub and he drops a present on the floor.....*drops...key word* So I clean it up and throw it out, blah blah blah. Well I am drying him off and he PISSES ON ME! lol So I look down at him and say *Branden, you just peed on me* He looks right at me with the straightest face a 21 months old could have and says , clear as day, well not todays day, anyway he says *Kisses?* I had to laugh...It was histarical! You should have been there! Well better go now!
~Melissa~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:24 PM
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Thursday, February 7
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We went out yesterday and had some food at Arby's...Well, they burned my chicken so I sent it back and the sencond time I was eating...i got half way throught the sandwich and it was raw!!!!!!!!!!! So if I am in the hospital with Salmanilla then you know why! lol we also got Jazmin a new lead and some treats and they played at the courts and I had some physical therapy *OUCH!!!!!!!* and stuff! lol
After reading Annie's blog...I feel compelled to write of my own expierences with love
Four years ago I never, for one second, thought that Josh and I would be where we are today. When we first got together we were inseperable! We did so much together! *sigh* We held hands and kissed all the time and we were so happy! *sigh sigh* Despite everything we went through, his ex and mine, *sorry no names* lol It made our love that much more. He did everything for me and more. I tried to do things for him but it was hard. He took care of me better than anyone ever had. For eight months it was bliss, I thought it would never end, I thought I was in heaven! After some hard times and a move to Tampa, we again had the same love. He skipped school when I had a day off and came to see me. When he wasn't at work he was on I-4 coming to see me. After about a year and a few months...everything started to die down. At first I didn't see it and then I started to notice little differences. I then realized we were in *the zone*! Yes, the zone!!!!! A small recap...the zone signifies the comfort zone. After you're with someone for a good amount of time, you reach the zone, and things are different. At first I hated it and wished I could change him. What a fool I was! You need to accept the zone with open arms. You will never see the zone creepin' up on ya, but it'll hit ya when you least expect it. I was personally warned but was so niave! I only saw his side of the so called zone, but after a while I realized he wasn't the only one in the realationship that had changed! And it was a good thing to see it. I do , however, see that things will get easier. He is busy and so am I. We have different things to do each day and by days end we have so much to share. We both have changed.
In HS we were always together but lived apart, we didn't have a child, we didn't *have to work* we didn't have all the responsibility we have now. Now I stay home, cook, clean, raise the baby, walk the dogs, and much other unnoticalbe duties! Josh: goes to work, pays the bills, worries about the money, and does the things I can't...*getting things off the top shelf* lol so when you and your loved one hit the zone...don't fret! It won't go back to *normal* but You will see this as the new and improved norm. It gets batter and I do hope this has helped anyone in the same situation that i had been in. Annie, girlie! I love ya to pieces and hope all is well!
Love ya'll,
~Melissa~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:28 PM
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Wednesday, February 6
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Hey there everyone!
Do any of you know thebooks in the Left Behind Series??? Well back in HS I read the first two and recently I bought the rest of them and can't put them down!!! I read over 200 pages yesterday alone! *and between Branden, and my knee, and all the house wife stuff...* thats a lot! Anyways! I was talking to a friend and she asked me if I knew whether or not I was going to heaven. I told her ...* Uhhh? I think so* She then asked me what I thought to be the ticket into heaven...I told her there really is no *ticket* you just need to believe in what has been taught She was impressed because most everyone says...* well, you need to be a good person, and be nice to people* which does help but that won't send ya up there in a heartbeat.
There are so many different religons out there that it is hart to determine what is what! I believe that if you are a strong believer in your church, then you'll go. I was born into a strick Catholic family...however...I never made it to my confrimation. I branched out, I wanted to learn more about other stuff. And that I did. I found churches my friends went to and they were fun! I didn't think you could have fun in a church!
I am not saying that I am a Holy roller, but I do believe, I don't try and puch my beliefs on my non-bbeliever friends or family. Most everyone believes in a higher power, but if you are not introduced at an earlier age....most won't have the desire to learn in the long run!
Another friend of mine said she believes and her whole family was strick with their Christianity, and she says *Mel, I believe, I think I'm going to heaven, yeah I did bad stuff but I don't think that just because I smoked up one time, that God will leave me standing at the gates begging* I like her spunk! lol......I'll write back in a few, it won't be as biblical...more goofy...I just wanted to get all that out in the open!
Love,
Meliss
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:51 AM
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Friday, February 1
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OKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!
So I go to the orthopedic the other day, To my surprise, he tells me I have sprained my ACL and have to go to Physical therapy 3x a week for 6 weeks or I won't heal right! Then I went out and bought some memory for my busted computer...It said it couldn'tr find windows! so if anyone who normally talks to me hasn't seen me in a while...Its cuz I only have a dial up system to run off my old computer that doesn't have a working cd drive so I can't install my dsl in it!
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:56 PM
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