I Often Wonder About Myself...
Tuesday, January 22
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Alrighty then!!!
So I had one of those *bad days*... First, my computer is on it's period or something! I SWEAR DUDE! It's been moody! *LOL* So I was not able to do anything that involved more than one program being open at a time....Not cool, very much, not cool! So It's not *all better* but getting there! I just need to buy some memory cards or something like that! Great! *Let's spend money we don't have!*! No, money isn't a huge issue right now! It's getting better. Not perfect yet, but better! I have learned to deal with no cable. Branden Is stil in transition mode but he'll be ok. *LOL* I will pay EVERYTHING off within the next few months. I talked to the disablility office today, they are sending me to one of their doctors! YAY! I can actually see a doctor! I know, I know! Who likes to see doctors? but in my situation, I like to know of any new developements in my health, and believe you me! I think there just may be some undiagnosed issues brewin up over here.
I feel confident about this! I really do! I think I will get it this time! I am so tired of not having money, and now I'll have my own check every month to pay !my! bills by !myself!........ OMG!!!!!!!!!! J Lo is pissed cuz her new hubby was drewling over that singer chick Sharyra!!! *LOL* I just heard it on the radio! I am so full of it tonight! HAPPY ANNIVERSERY ANNIE AND BRENT!!!!!!!!!
I really should go now and finish fixing myt computer! lol
Love ya'll!!!!!!!!!!!
~MELISSA~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:44 PM
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Monday, January 21
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I have a question. Does *Sweetie, I need you to wake up early with me so I can get this stuff out of the way* mean go to bed at 6:30 am and make me feel bad about waking Josh up?
Nest Topic!
I have this friend of mine that I recent;y got back in touch with, right? Well anyways, no i find out that this person is relocating to DENVER COLORADO!!!!!!!! Yeah sure it's for a good cause, and it'll be a big step into the future for this friend, but come on! Colorado?! Whatever! I was supposed to move there this summer until we *unexpectedly* bought a new car. *smacks forehead and realizes exactly how much debt I'll be in* but ya know...stuff happenes!
Does anyone remember about a year ago, Walgreens was getting the crap sued out of them for handing out the wrong meds to people? Well, that little tid bit of knowledge came in hand y lastnight! Mom and I got there just as the pharmacy was ready to close, so we went throught the drive through pick up thingy. Well, the guy says her blood-pressure meds aren't there. I'm in the car trying to yell that it's bulll shit but he wanted nothing to do with me and asured us it wasn't there and to move along. Well mom was all like well lets go the. Me, on the other hand, said *Oh no! Uhhh no?!* I got out of the car went in there grabbed a manager and politely said...*clears throat*
Yeah, My mother has gotten 3 calls saying her script is ready, and it was here a few days back when I picked up her Vioxx...Well, now that little preppy *I'm too good to be here* prick in the pharmacy is saying he doesn't even have her on record! Ya know sir? With all the crap that's been going on with your law suites I would hate for my mother to have a hypertensive sezure or even a stroke because you wouldn't give her her meds, and it be on your shoulders!
Well, he quickly rushed me INTO the *now* closed pharmacy, had someone look up the script, explain to me what they did wrong and ring me up. Then he apologized and walked me out. That guy in the pharmacy got into a lot of trouble cuz he was in a huge rush to take home two girls in the lobby that looked like they should be on one of those girlls gone wild tapes you see on tv at night. UHG!!!!! ANyways! I got that off my chest and mom was VERY happy to have her meds and not blow up like a blowfish from not taking it. But now that I have wasted SO much of everyone's time...I think I'll go be productive and stop procrastinating!
Love ya,
Melissa Brooke Willey
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:56 AM
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Sunday, January 20
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Hey everyone! I feel much better today! I feel like I have gotten closure...but from what? Only I know and that is all that matters! So anyways! My daddy said that my uncle was in town visiting my other uncle and that pissed me off! Because uncle Fred *the one thats visiting here* is like my fav. in the world!
But who knows...I'll brb...........................ok
So like....uhhhh...I don't have much to say right now, but i do have to run so........bye 4 now
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:05 PM
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Friday, January 18
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OK! So Branden had his upper GI...That was not cool! He's already had 2, one to see if he needed the surgery in the first place and then at six months to confirm a reflux diagnosis and those went great...He just satthere and was cool with it. But this was a whole new ball game! He did not like it one bit...Then mom got the worst cold she's had in like forever! Now Josh has it! I'm doomed Oh well....... I called a pychic, *it was free! shush already* anyways, she said if I'm not already pregnant to watch out! cuz she sees me finding out within the next month or so! OMG NOT YET!!!!!!But the thing was, I didn't really take it to seriously to heart until mom called this women she talks to all the time and she said the SAME DAMN THING!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel bad! I bugged and bugged Eddie to get me to start and now I have been so tied up with all the crap at the hospital and the doctors and the tests and EVERYONE being sick! That I have barely had time to make the two calls I did! And I think boss man is frustrated with me...Iwould be too, but I can't help it! I have been so stressed out! Today is the first day I have woken up before 2pm! When I had to take branden in...I just stayed up all night and made a pot of coffee! ahhh whatever! I better go and take care of the sicklings now.......Loive ya'll. and Annie, Be safe and keep smilin! Glad you are having a blast and are in good spirits!
~Melissa~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:15 AM
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Tuesday, January 15
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Ok! So Josh is still in awe of his thumb, or lack there of! So anyways...I woke up really late today and there was no water!!!!!!!!!!! I had to pack a bag for me and the baby and go to moms just to look and probably smell better! UHHHHHHHHHHH I hate apartments! THEN Branden takes his nap, he was fine before he went to sleep, but when he woke up he was sick! He was all stuffy and runny and coughy and ew dude! he's sick!...But anywho! OH YEAH!!!!!! And tomorrow I have tro be awake by 5am at the latest! thank God for programable coffee pots! I will probably be better off not going to sleep at all! If I go to sleep npw OI'll be up by like 3am and that'll be good enough for me! Oh well...Better go cook more food!
~Melissa~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
8:07 PM
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Monday, January 14
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OK! Let me settle something! Guys are strange! I don't know about you guys...but when I hack off the corner of my thumb...I'm the first one to run screaming and crying to the emergency room! Josh on the other hand sits there and admires his handy work *It's not that bad...It'll grow back* Whatever! I wonder? Do guys really think the whole *chicks dig scars* thing is true???
Next Time On...*Tales From The Kitchen*
"Josh has a 3rd degree burn and only 1 mobile finger left!" LOL That boy won't be happy until he looses a hand, I wonder if that'll be enough for a doctor visit or a few stitches? LOL He's not right...Well, neither am I, But we already know that. Right?Well I have much to do and little time to do it in! So for now I leave you with the thought of the day............... Melissa Loves All and Can do klnow wrong! LOL
~Melissa~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:17 PM
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Sunday, January 13
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Oh no!
I have a cold... have the stuffy head runny nose cough and sneeze thingy...other than that I am good.......I guess that it out of me for now, ttyl!
Love,
ME
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:59 PM
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Saturday, January 12
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I am such a sensitive person! I here about someone's bad day, or unfortunate heartache and cry myself! Is that good? I just have extra emotions...Anyone wanna barrow some? LOL I also need to get some stuff off my chest...Be warned this may go on for a while an dit may be painful.............................
I am upset, My Nana Shirley died on the one year anniversery of my car crash...*11/22/00* and so much had happened between now and then that I almost feel like I didn't have time to mourn her death! She dies a few days before thanksgiving day, and the Christmas came right after...then the new year, and another family member got really sick *He dies in May* then I moved and even though it was 7 months afterwards, we had Nana's service. Then, Josh moved up to Tampa and we got our apartment, then mom moved, the my aunt got diagnosed with cancer....so you see where this is goin??? I have had a rough year and everyone is dieing and sick and I am so scared to get close to anyone! I am so scared that my friends will get sick too! I used to fear my friends hating me, and that is still an issue. But now I dont want to leave the house. My dad kept telling me that I had to bring the baby to see Nana, because dshe isn't a spring chiclen anymore and she should see him. So what did I do?! I kept him away from her hoping that she posessed that will to live thing, and that she wouldn't go until she met him! But that wasn't it! I got a call from my dad one night and he told me nana wasn't expected to make it through the night. I woke up at 5am the next day and drove to melbourne with josh and the baby....I saw her in a way I never imagined she would be. She was weak, she was in need! A woman that never once in her life asked for help, or complained of an ache or pain, or even a cold was damn near dead in front of me and my whole family. She signed a DNR so I knew there was nothing that could be done. Do you know how that feels?! I kept her great grandson from her so she would stay alive! and now I only have pictures to show branden, and he isn't in any of them.
Now Nini, *my great-aunt who raised me for a while* has cancer! This time I have no control over it all, It's not like I can pack up the baby and hop a plane whenever I want! Money doesn't grow on trees! And for some reason Grandma *mom's mom* thinks I am rich or something like that!? So whenever they call me I hear all about *you need to bring that baby to us! Meleesa! We'll never meet him......."they're spanish"* so I feel like if Nini doesn't make it then It'll be my fault that she never met Branden! That is an aweful place to be in! I don't know! I feel like there isn't anyone I can turn to about death. When Nana died, I felt like I had to be strong for my dad. couldn't go to mom....that was her EX mother-in-law so why should she be concerned? Not josh, he never knew her. Wehn uncle ern dies I felt bad going to anyone in josh's family cuz he was their relative....not mine...same when aunt betty died not my relative....... Now Nini...If she goes.............I have no clue what to do! I am so sick of trying to keep it together for everyone! Why can't I just deal wqith death like everyone else and fall apart, break down into tears?
I want a friend that will be there through everything with me. I need a best friend! thats what I need.....I know Josh is supposed to be my best friend, and he is, to an extent. Sometimes you just need an outsiders opinion or shoulder or whatever! Know what I mean? I better get goin for now... I finally got all that offf my chest and I feel so much better! Thank you blogger!
Love,
*M*
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
8:04 PM
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Friday, January 11
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So, according to Annie's Granny...We all have a Queen inside of us...And seeing as how it originaly came from Queen Latifa....It has got to be true! LOL
So I am just expressing my Queenliness...Is that a word? Didn't think so.. So anyways
I have had this increatab;e feeling the past few days. I feel like I am worth more, like I am someone, like I kinda sorta belong! WOW! I mean I offen suffer bouts of depression due to all the medical problems I have, and I know I am not the only one who is going through all of it. I put Mom, Josh, Branden, the dogs, and you guys through a lot of anger and stuff! ANd that has always made me irritated! But whatever, right? I was so used to doing so much for other people that I never had time for myself, and now that I can barley move without crying or wishing I had refills on my pain pills, I don;t know what to do! Well, I do now, I adjusted to the life of telling myself what to do and not being able to do as much for others.But I am happy! And that is what matters.Sure I have days when I wish I had done something in my life different...But come on! Life is good.
Subject change
Jazmin *my puppy* is becoming a woman! This morning she started her little puppy period thingy mabobber.SO I went to Petsmart and got her some puppy products! I can't believe I pent 5 bux on something I could have gotten twice of at Publix for a human and givin it to her. For those of you who are lost....I'm talking about pads. Damn it! SO far in the past 20 minutes I have smacked my shin on the dest the my elbow in the door and now my shin again...I am taking this as a sign..I have to go watch tv now...Provedince will be on soon enough!
Love,
*M*
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:42 PM
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ok... so today I talk to *The Boss Man*!!! SCORE! I now have something to do with my *free* time...I figure I'll start tomorrow, not like I can start now anyways! LOL I got all excited and went to get mom's RX's and saw this headset phone...well it dawned on me that the hand-held phone thing doesn't work very well with the computer at the same time. *can we say impule shopper?* Yeah now I have a REALLY tiny phone the same color as the beeper I had in high school!! and instead of ringing...it cherps! COOL!!
3?
So Sorry! I think I have all my shmaggle together...but with me ...ya never know! I have been such an air head lately that I felt the need to write down everything Eddie was telling me! I didn't, but we'll cross that road if it ever gets here...or should I say when I get to it!............
I have small ears! The damn ear piece doesn't fit very well! Isn't that always the case?! *LOL*... Oh well....I better go for now...TIRED!!!!
Love,
*M*
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
12:25 AM
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Thursday, January 10
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This is weird! I am home alone! Well, the dogs are still here but the baby and Josh are gone! They went out to do a bunxcha of stuff! It kinda sux...I miss them....and I have to stand in *viewing possitions* to watch tv now because the cable got shut off. Josh awants to leave the cable off for a while but I said if he did that I would go move in with my mom! I din't care if we have a digital box or not! I need something other than the 5-7 *news* stations i get now!
We went to go pick up the remotes for the truck yesterday, and they weren't there.....The guy said he never ordered them, so I get home and theres a message on the machine....He DID ORDER THEM!!! And they were there when we were! But he was too much of a dumb-ass to remember! UHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I get so frustrated with people...Seeing as how we have no cable...*yes, we are back on that* I have been downloading all the movies I would have ordered on in demand.. I watched the first half of Legally Blond! It was so cute! I can't wait for the rest to download! I wish you could just download the whole damn thing at once instead of looking for part 1 and part 2 and trying to match the users so you don't get a screwy download....*and thats what normaly happens*
Anyways! I think I'm gonna go and enjoy my free time and the silence that could kill!
Love,
**M**
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:51 AM
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Ok!
I just got out of one of the best showers ever taken! I stood there, under the water, until the hottest setiing ran cold. Until my hands were as pruny as a childs when they have been in the pool WAY too long. Until I damn near fell asleep. And where did it get me? Right here, tell the world *or who ever reads this* something that cold possibly be considered....uhh...whats the word?...explisit? Whatever! *smacks forehead...needs sleep?*
So we had a rather eventful day! Branden had a G.I. app.this morning and is now having an uper GI and follow through small bowl next week. Poor kifd!!! If her would only learn how to keep his food down long enough!!!!! Man...Baby alert! Must go ........he never wakes up like this! Wait a sec...uhhh nevermind...
Love,
*M*
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:38 AM
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Tuesday, January 8
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Lastnight, I was thinking...Maybe I should write a book?! Or at least try to...I mean come on! What else will I do all day? I have no major plans! I have no *job* other than mother-hood and and the tasks that follow. But there is one problem...What do I write about?!?!?! I thought long and hard about it and thought that if I pick one era of my life, I could write a good book! But what part of my life is the most interesting? What part of my life will people find comedic, yet, sad *good sad*. That my friends I am stuck on. I am not trying to go for the auto-biography thing, it'll be written from someone elses point of view. Isn't that third person? *LOL* It could start off something like
September 6, 1981 Hialeah, Florida
A baby girl has entered the world...
Yeah I know...Sounds dull...But hey I bet every person that has ever tried to write a book has come upon some trials and errors. But whatever...It'll probably never happen.I'll write for me and see where it goes. But for now...I need to shower *eeeeeeewwwwww*
Love,
*Melissa*
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:31 PM
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Monday, January 7
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Lets see....... hmmmmmmmmmm? what did mel do today?
Slept in WAY too late, went to the store, went to moms, played on the computer......Had a run in with the cops!
*What!?*
Well, we are at mom's (mom, Branden, and me) and Branden is doin what he does, plays with the phone and the computer at moms...so we go online and mom is in there and someone knocks at the door. Well moms door doesn't shut right sometimes so it opens when you touch it...well the door opens and I run over there and theres a cop!!! ready to pull his gun out on me! I'm all like uhhhhhh Hi??? He's like
are you alone=cop
uhhh no=me
is there a problem?=me
are you okay?=cop
uhhhh yeah?=me
we got 3-4 911 calls from here=cop
huh!?!? =me
no one called you and you haven't called us?=cop
nope...i would know=me *as I look down at my son with the phone in his hand*
Turns out Branden knows how to dial 911! something I planned on teaching him when he was old enough to comprehend the whol concept of 911! I explained it to the cop and he went on his marry little cop way...what a rush! I was all like what the hell!!?!?!?!?!?! I bet he got the shit scared out of him when he knocked on the door and it opened for him! LOL DUDE!!! any sudden movement and he probably would've shotr me!!!!!!!!!
~Love~
*Melissa*
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:19 PM
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Friday, January 4
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ok...so it;s not so bad having Bren and Brett here... I just sit around and do the same shit I do everrynight! *LOL* uhg! I dunno...I have this headache and I am so freakin! tired!!!!
I guess I could go to sleep...but why on earth would I do something as sane as that???
Love,
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:44 PM
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Does anyone see a problem with me doing laundry EVERY day?!?! *LOL*
Well Branda and her man were here but then they went home and they are coming back... It's kinda cool cuz I don't have anyone to hang out with when mom doesn't feel good...But her boy-toy down;oaded a buncha shit onto my harddrive and for the longest time I had no clue why Puter was slow...It's like Puter had temporary Autism! LOL But then I went digging around in folders and shit and found 15 songs and some pics of other girls!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO He's in trouble!!! I don't wanna tell Brenda because she really likes him but I know if Josh were doin that, I would wanna know so I could kick his ass and scream and cry and ....and....well, you get it.
I went and got my hair braided by some lady at GreatClips, ok? Well, I told her exactly what I wanted and she was all huffy about it, after some hesitation she did it and screwed it up!!!! The ones I did were better than this! *mind you...I am not a racist or nothinbut........* SHE WAS BLACK AND DIDN'T BRAID MY HAIR RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I thought she would know exactly what I was talking about, apperantly I was wrong! So I spent money on nothin! Go figure......
Well, I have a lotta crao to TRY and get done, so I'll be around if anyone wants to talk...
Love,
~Mis-Manis~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:35 AM
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Wednesday, January 2
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What a day!!!
We didn't wake up until 12:30!!! But we got a lot done since then...Cleaned the whole house.!. Well as you know I got comments, but no one is commenting! You BUTTHEADS!!! I am so proud of myself! I have always been a HUGE nail bitter! But I haven't bitten my nails in a month! and most of them *minus the brokemn ones* are SOOOOOOOOOO long!!! YAY MEL!!!! ANyways...I need help, so on thatr note i'll go now and screw around with my template again
~Meliss~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:02 PM
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Tuesday, January 1
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ooooooooooooooops
now i m stuck again
ok maybe not
*smacks forhead* computers suck!
i give up now
now i have a head ache
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:31 PM
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i think blue is good
yeah blue is in now
pretty colors
Ok, so my new years eve was kinda expected...Josh didn't get in till 145am and I was read to pass out I was so tired! So he gave me a kiss as I was falling asleep ans wished me sweet dreams. That was sweet. The baby has the ability to take his diapper off when ever he feels like it...so now he has to have shoes on all the time or else he start to strip. What a kid! Well I better get goin now..lots to do, got company commin tomorrow! YAY
Love
~Mel~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:10 PM
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yay
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:02 PM
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ok!!!! @#$%$#@#$%^& *prefered bad word here*
here we go again...trying to make comments...if I get it right I'll send links to the page
is it working yet?!?!?!?!?!
guess not:(
oh well...it has givin me sumpin to do
i think i did it this time
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:52 PM
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HHHAAAPPPPPPYYY NNNEEEWWW YYYEEEAAARRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU GUYS
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:14 AM
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