I Often Wonder About Myself...
Monday, December 31
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Melissa's Tip Of The Day!!!!!!
If you wanna get out of feeling obligated to cook dinner...make something your man don't like!!!!! I made something that I've made MANY times befor but Josh said it smelled funny or some crap like that...soooooooooo...I said *ya know what? you're a chef...from now on I'll expect you to come home from work and cook me dinner every night* He gave me a dirty look, but ya know what? He had to make a frozen dinner cuz I cooked for me and the baby and that wa it!
LOL
I know, i know...it sounds mean, but come on! He hurt my feelings! All though he reminds me of me whe I was pregnant because twice in the past week smells have made him nausiated. First it was the smell of smoke and then food! That was so me when I was like 2-4 months pregnant! Aww what the hell! So I hope everyone has a happy new years and all that good stuff... If Josh isn't home in time I plan on taking Annie's advice and giving Codi a nice big smooch!!! EWWWWWW... *LOL*
~Melissa Brooke~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:01 PM
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Sunday, December 30
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Well, I did a lot of adding to my page today... I got an idea from an old friend...I added a page about me! It's kinda corny but who cares.....I have to go and go to sleep now...I love you all and HAVE A HAPPY NEW YEAR if I don't talk to ya before then!!!
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:22 PM
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I am so in the middle of an identity crisis! I BRAIDED MY WHOLE HEAD!!!!!!!!!! *well I left the bangs out of the question*...if you wanna see go to my web site! better go admire my handy dandy work!
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:07 PM
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Saturday, December 29
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I did one of those BMI tings online and it said I have 22.3% body fat and that I should keep my weight where it is, and that at my weight no one ever gets diseases and stuff...they obviously haven't met me!
Anyway! I went food shopping today! YAY and i paid the bills, which makes me feel better cuz now i know i have power, cable, and phone for another month! LOL
But for now i must go...my dog needs a bath!
:0
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
8:33 PM
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ok so at like 4:30 this morning I woke up and decided to check my mail...you won't believe how many people are online that late, or early...Mom, Eddie, and Julie! AT 430am!!!!!! They are messed up...Sorry guys. SO anyways...I think I'll go read the paper online now...see what up oin thew world as we know it...I luv yous guys!
~m~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:33 AM
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Friday, December 28
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so my new favorite songs are the theme to Ali by R-Kelly and blurry by puddle of mudd...just thought I'd share that tid bit of info....
I am sucha a mom!!!! i was at my dads the other day and my sister came out to greet us, well the first thing i did was look down at her feet and yell at her for not habing and socks or shoes on in the cold...she started to head in as my stepmom came out and yelled the exact thing at her!
On the other hand...I had to yell at my own kid today. he has this thing that when he's mad or I'm trying to get him to do something he hits me! HE ACTUALLY RAISES A HAND AND SWINGS AT ME!!!!!!!! So I yelled NO really loud and he started crying! I felt like sucha bitch but I know that if he hits me he'll hit someone else and that is not cool! I can see it now.
*Uh yes, Mrs. Crystle? Can you come down to the school and get your son? He hit a student and a teacher*...
Whats a girl to do?! When I was little my mom stayed home with me and my daddy was the bad guy but I am the good guy, the bad guy, the bitch that makes me take naps and the evil diaper changer! When my dad was home I never understood the whole "daddy has been working leave him alone" thing, so I was always in trouble with him. All I know is that Branden will nderstand one day. He'll understand that I had all the bases covered and I did what was best, he'll know that I am not perfect and that I tried and gave him all I had. And I do, i give him EVERYTHIGN!!!!! I give him my energy my naps my food my love, my affection.......everything. And that makes me feel good...i love being his mother i love being around him even wqhen he is in the worst of moods! Don't ask why but I think it makes me stronger. It helps a lot, it helps me to bve a more patient person.
With that I will end this babble session......I love you all and hope you guys have a great new Year...by the way........ moms bday is new years eve!
Love,
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:44 PM
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Well lets see
We got a co-signer, and buncha little stuff for x-mas...We would have had a better time, but Branden seemed to be a little pissed the whole time we were there. I didn't ever sleep! I didn't even call my friends! Branden just screemed and cried the whole time! He drove me nuts! He got in the truck on the way home and slept till we got off I-4, then he went back to sleep at home for 3 hours! Now he is fine, I guess he wasn't in the spirit.....
I got Josh a new planner and a really nice pen and some markers for work because he always looses them. I got word that my great aunt Mary *NiNi* was in the hospital again on Christmas day. That right there put me in the dumps! But she's home now, she had some complications from her chemo and had to stay in the hospital for like 1 day or something. That is nothing compared to the other stays she's had....
Then...... Codi, *my big doggie* turned 2 yesterday *the 26th* so I am waiting for the calming time that they say dogs get when they turn 2. Mom stayed with Jazmin while we were away and she cleaned my house! Moms' will always clean better than you, which scares me, because that means Branden will be a pug! LOL We signed the papers on the truck today and got our temp tag! I am so excited! It is so nice! It isn't top of the line and it isn't new but it's only 3 years old and it's in mint condition! Jeeps are a beautiful thing. Do you know how nice it was to go to Orlando with the baby, the dog, and the gift and still have room to breathe!?!?!?!?!!?!?! IT WAS GREAT!!!!!!!! Well i had better go for now, sleep is needed for me to function as a human being tomorrow. I love ya guys!
~Melissa~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:06 AM
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Monday, December 24
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It doesn't ryme much but I was in a mood to write something for ya's...This is Melissa's Christmas trip
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Not a creature was stiring, not even a mouse
I packed up the car, filled it with
gifts, the kid and the dog
Drove 74 miles through the cold and the fog
The eve was filled with love and family
And for this I will suffer from severe sleep deprevity! (i know)
We drove our drive and ended it with a sigh
For the next morning, I will look to the sky, and cry (out of reliefe)
And even though some family was left behind, I know in my heart
we'll have lots of time
I will be thankful for the years we have been a family and for the love we share
I know I will spend countless hours each year planning the same trip
*Melissa Brooke Willey*
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:02 PM
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it's thenight of the fat man and what are we doing??? we are sittin here drinking some captain morgan and cokes.........mom and i are so fucking bored that this is what we are now doing...writing in my poor blog...when i got my blog he didn't know he would be subjected to this kind of torement
~MBW~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:12 PM
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Ok then...I have red nails with green tips! LOL I can't wait to leave! Well yeah, actually I can but ya know! I love seeing my friends and family.so now we are going to go get yelled at by Josh's mom and grandma cuz we got that truck... they really piss me off sometimes...but I'll get over it. I'll talk to ya's later
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:10 PM
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Sunday, December 23
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WATCH OUT OVIEDO! HERE I COME!!!!!!!
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:53 PM
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Ok then! We leave late tomorrow night! I can't wait to go home! I hated living at dad's but now I can never wait to go back! Strange, i know... So anyways! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:53 PM
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Saturday, December 22
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Ok, so we need a co-signer for our new car! But that isn't going over well with everyone else in the family. I asked my dad just because I never ask him for stuff. Last time I said anything about him giving me somethin was when I had Branden and he gave me a check...I looked at the check and looked at my stepmom and said it wasn't enough... lol... I crack me up!
Anywho! OMG!! Guess who I saw online for ythe first time in like 2 weeks!?!?!?!?! EDDIE! He was actually online and so I said hi! LOL I need a life again. I was doing fine and then all of a sudden I lost it! LOL oh well...shit happens
Oh, to comment on a blog Annie had like a montha go...............
*Is saying the F... word the same as just saying Fuck?* Yes it is... If you say *the f*** word* you are insinuating that you are trying to say !FUCK! So I feel that you should just say it, I think it's almost worse if you try and cover it up with a more delicate way of saying, because basicaly you are putting up a front. By saying the word you may feel like a bad person, but by saying *flippin* or *freakin* or *the f word* you are hidding the fact *from others* that you intended to say it if not aloud then to yourself. Does that make sence? Oh well
Love,
Meliss
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
8:02 PM
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Friday, December 21
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Noo comments?! WHAT!!!!!??????
This is not cool! Oh well, neither is needing a co-signer for a car because I have no proof of income...Thanx Eddie!!!! Anywho...All could be better...but ya know...so how is everyone??? Good? Great! Glad to hear it. 4 now i must go...
Love,
Meliss
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:13 PM
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OK!!!!!!!!
WOW....IS IT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS COLD?????
Yes it is and it feels GREAT!!!!!!! I am so happy...I just wish it haddn't waited for the week before christmas to get like this. Oh well...Rooms To Go will be here soon and so will the guy to fix my washer, so with that..........................
Love,
Meliss
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:33 AM
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Thursday, December 20
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*I GOT THIS IN AN E-MAIL TONIGHT AND I CRIED FOR A WHILE...*
It's said that we have a choice to make. I've
chosen.
Now it's your turn to choose.
The story goes that some time ago, a man punished
his 5-year-old daughter
for wasting a roll of expensive gold wrapping
paper. Money was tight and
he became even more upset when the child pasted
the gold paper so as to
decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless, the little
girl brought the gift box to her father the next
morning and said, "This
is for you, Daddy." The father was embarrassed by
his earlier
overreaction, but his anger flared again when he
found the box was
empty. He spoke to her in a harsh manner: "Don't
you know, young lady,
when you give someone a present there's supposed
to be something inside
the package?" The little girl looked up at him
with tears in her eyes
and said: "Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses
into it until it was
full." The father was crushed. He fell on his
knees and put his arms
around his little girl, and he begged her to
forgive him for his
unnecessary anger.
An accident took the life of the child only a
short time later and it is
told that the father kept that gold box by his bed
for all the years of
his life and whenever he was discouraged or faced
difficult problems he
would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss
and remember the love
of the child who had put it there.
In a very real sense, each of us as human beings
have been given a golden
box filled with unconditional love and kisses from
our children, family,
friends and God.
There is no more precious possession anyone could
hold.
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:55 PM
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OH mY God!!!!!!
We got a new truck!!!!! We got a 1998 Jeep Grand Cherokee Lerado! It is so nice!!! WOW!!!!! So no more broken car, no more dead battery and n=messed up electronics! I am so excited...I got my new vacuum and Josh got his truck! Branden Loves it! mom thinks it's cool too. So yeah, we had a stressful 2 days together. Then tonight I started the laundry and my washer broke down...so i called my favorite apartment main. dude and he said he'd be here firstr thing ion the mornin. But all in all it was a good week.
We will be in Orlando early Christmad mornin, like 3am early. I think we'll play Santa and MRS. Clause...*LOL* Oh well...I'm gonna go and see is snorland loves me yet...Love you all
~Melissa Brooke~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:41 PM
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Tuesday, December 18
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Well, today I went out with mom! We went to my appointment with SSI and then I came home and realized what a piece of crap Josh's car really is...The around 6pm mom and I went to Lowes and I got a new vacuum! But *shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh* nobody knows I have it other than mom, the check out guy and Branden... SO anyways...I chilled out and had a glass of wine tonight. It was nice and relaxing. Branden went to bed with no if, ands, or buts about it...He was pooped! Poor kid...I am scared that Josh will be pissed that I got a new vacuum, oh i dont know! Whatever...My carpets are gross and I had to clean them! Right?...Or am I completely wrong...
I know we are pretty much poor, but we needed it! And yes, his car needs work, but his car won't stop allergies and nastry little gross guys from crawling in my carpets and hitching rides on my family! Anywho...I think thats all the bitchin i have for today...ttyl
Love ya,
*Melissa*
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:11 PM
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I saw one of the most descusting thing on Tv! On the discovery health channel they had these parent that put their 4 year old son through a 4 hour plastic surgery, just so that he wouldn't look like he had Downs syndrome!!!!! What if he grew up and got pissed becuase that is HIS identity?! Remember Corcky? The downs actor? He is proud of who he is! His parents never did that to him! In a few years if he could comprehend it all and knew what was going on, then by all means, have at it! But this poor kid! How could someone voluntarily subject sucha small child to that much pain?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
And they kept saying..."Now Michael looks normal. Now he will have a normal face." And the kid was sitting on their lap! That is wrong. I know I would bitch slap my parents if they said I wasn't normal looking. He is normal! God made him that way for a reason, and I don't think it was to test the abilities of the surgon.
On a lighter note...........
I saw that movie *The Animal*. It was funny. It had it's moments of sickness, but for the most part it was good. See, that didn't bother me, a doctor putting all animal parts in a human...Because IT'S A MOVIE!!! But that poor kid! Oh well, who am I to judge? But for now I must go...I have an early appointment!
Love Always,
~Melissa~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
12:36 AM
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Monday, December 17
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I thought about doing one of those *A Day In The Life Of Melissa* things...but then quickly realized it would only be like 3 lines long. So anyways, I had a pretty dull day! I slept in and did my girlie stuff, played with the kid and played on the net. Now I am back on the net and being pretty damn bored! My dogs are driving me nuttie and the baby has a rather contagious laugh. I was drying him off from his bath and I started covering his face with the towel and making funny faces...well he started cracking up! Mom was on the phone and she was rollin!!!!! He is too cute!
I can not wait to go shopping for him! It'll be so much fun! He's getting toys and clothes and shoes and more toys and then some toys and.....You get the picture!! I am doing our christmas pictures this year. Mom's second hubby was a photographer and ever since...I have always loved taking pics... I had really good one of a cave in upstate NY from 4th grade, but I have no clue where they went! They were great pics!!! They looked like postcards! ANywho..... I do believe I have other shmaggle to attend to, so I'll go for now.But seeing as how my life is *sooooooo very eventful* I'll write more later on:):):) I love ya all and I hope everyone had a great trip home for the hollidays!!!!
Love,
*Melissa*
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:34 PM
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Oh man...
I have been messin with my template for like a week now...First I needed comments the I did the links thingy then I made my own colors on the whole thing, now I really wanna change the fonts!! There are a few things with the colors I am doing but all is well for now. Well maybe I'm done! I dunno...I just get so bored that I sit here and figure out how to change my tags and put cool stuff on my blog!
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
5:39 PM
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Saturday, December 15
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Ya know what? I have had the most boring day!!! Sure I did some cool stuff to my blog, but that's not a great achievement. So anyways...It's Saturday night and could probably tell you exactly what all my friends are doing! LOL Well, Annie is probably sitting in a car somewhere between Durham, NC and Orlando, Fl...but the rst are out having fun...exactly what normal people *18-23* do on weekends, shit, weekdays for that matter...
OOOO, I did download a song from candlelight! I sear I heard myself mess up...*lol*... j/k I guess I'll go for now, I have not a lot to say tonight...maybe something funny will happen
*besides me falling off my couch and throwing my back out*
~Melissa~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:00 PM
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Yay I added links! I figured it out!!! I am so proud of me!:):)
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:52 PM
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No mom!!! 5 more minutes PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!????????????
Who wakes up this early anyways???
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:06 AM
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Friday, December 14
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ug
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:55 PM
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Ok...i am now attempting to fix my comments yet again
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:53 PM
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That is just a beautiful song and I love it...So I had to share the wealth:):):)
If you haven't heard it go download it! I swear!...It's great to sing along to and it's a slow beautiful song, Brandy has a great voice...she just needs to use it somewhere other than Cover Girl comercials! LOL Ok, I'll go now... I have gotten a lot accomplished tonigfht...But Julie the butthead hasn't called yet:(:(:( Oh well, She's a busy person, right
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:49 PM
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Brandy *One Voice*
I had a dream, a crazy vision
It may sound strange, this intuition
But it was true beyond description
And somehow I knew that it was real
When I saw
One sky above, there is just one source of love
If I've got one chance, one choice
I'll sing it from the heart
One song, one voice
I've seen the fires of deep division
The hearts of stone, the cold ambition
But I have found my sacred mission
To live in the world and still beleive
That there is
One sky above, there is just one source of love
If I've got one chance, one choice
I'll sing it from the heart, one song, one voice
A song that heals
A melody of reason and freedom
With words that will speak for the weak
The hopeful and the strong
Sing it for everyone
Cause there is one sky above
There is just one source of love
If I've got one chance, one choice
I'll sing it from the heart, one song, one voice
Yes there is one sky above
One source of love
If I got one chance, one choice
So sing it from the heart, one song, one voice
Sing it with one song
One voice
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:42 PM
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If you guys ever hear me say Josh is a jerk or acuse him of something but wuickly get over it.......
Let me just say that it's because I have had the worst luck with guys in my life. Not just my boyfriends but every guy that has walked into my life, stepdads moms boyfriends, etc. So if you ever hear my stories then you'll completely understand what i mean and why I do this stuff... Kinda like tonight....I looked at one of josh's paystubs and saw that under the take home pay it was like $100 more than what he said it was...After severe interigations I broke out the calculator and saw that the numbers were ass-backwards for 2 weeks and the payroll people had messed up the earnings and take home sectons. My bad :)
So Yes I was wrong and I will admit it when I know it, but It will take one hell of a fuck up for me to do that :) I am just like my parents...
Love & Hopes...
~Melissa Brooke~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:14 PM
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Oh my God did I do a lot in an hour today! Mom and I went to the disability office and the DCFS, and then home again...It sounds like nothing but they aren't *right around the corner* so it took time and the whole getting the baby and the stroller and blah blah blah....
I have yet to finish my wash but I was sick for 2 days this week and now I am just flat out tired! But, such is life...
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:57 PM
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Ok so no one has comments that like me! Re-Blogger won't work with the templates and snorland is just dead or something...whatever. So, The direct deposit didn't go through again, *shocker* and I had one of my famous * i want my ,money back * letters all ready to fax but Josh is all like *Melisaa, You are not going to bitch out my bosses* Shoot! If that were me I would have done it 6 weeks ago when this was a problem in the first place.
I am hungry and awake way too early! So I guess I'll go eat something and maybe go back to sleep. yeah right! lol.. but for now I hope everyone is safe and sound...*how retarded is that sounding* lol Okay. time for me to go now...
Love,
~Melissa~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:22 AM
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Thursday, December 13
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uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...rebloggers r messed up
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:22 PM
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ok seeing as how snorland is all messed up lets see if this works...
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:18 PM
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Ok...Rooms to go is so not a good store! Now that I have a reselect on my furniture they have nothing worth buying!!! So anyways! The car broke down again, well it was the battery this time. So with that in mind we went to car max and our car was estimated at $3,000! wHAT A LOAD OF SHIT...its a great car...Dodge stratus es, leather, auto stik, power windows, locks, seats and mirrors! What were they thinking...the only prob with it is the miles and the dent in the bumper... Oh well, we were there to get a lerado...it was nice...but what does it matter to me? I can;t drive it! That sux big time...But how was everyone elses day?? lol
I need help...what does everyone want for x-mas?...Tell me what ya want, u probably won't get it but u can always tell me....Haha..Ok I have clothes to put away now...Love you all lots
~Melissa~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:10 PM
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Wednesday, December 12
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Yeah, so, after a lot of nagging, bitching, and faxing of the same letter 20 times...I got new furniture! I hate rooms to go! But they caved because I sent a fax explaining how I would alert all the leading news anchors in the bay area and how I understand how bad publicity can effect such a lartge company such as theirs... It went on to say some other damaging thoughts, but with that, I fax my letter to the ex. offices 10 times in one day and numerous other times over the next few days...seeing as how they didn't listen to my demands to hear my phone ring within 24 hours I still called the investigators at the news station... But he never called back...I should have been an attourney! I would be really good at it...YOu guys should hear some of my work, i think telemarketing is the wrong profession, but I don't hafta go to school for it so its all good....right eddie? :) Bye for now ya'll
~Melissa~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:30 PM
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Tuesday, December 11
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Ya know what? I am so pissed off...Josh leaves a note on the vomputer that says...*I found this condom wrapper in our living room and it's not one of mine* So I call him at work, He's all like well it's not one of mine, Like I would be stupid enough to bring a guy over here and do stuff and leave the wrapper out! Man is he dull...He knows I can't keep anytrhing from him! He knows that the second I do anything I get all fraked out and have panic attacks until I tell him! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Why are guys so insensitive??? And the worst part is IY IS HIS!!!!! I remember him getting it...I am sorry if this is too much for you guys to handle but I felt I should share... I am off to rest now...I am sick..Again...
~m~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
5:13 PM
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Does anyone know that show called *the Pretender*? It's a great show about this guy that is so super smart he can be whatever he wnts to be...ANyways...They made a movie on it and I just watched the second moviw!!! It was good...Besides I needed abreak after all the blogger crap I went through today...LOL...I did get it all done, well almost...My site meter isn't coming up on my blog...Oh well, I'll fix it when I have more time. I got in touch with another friend from High School...She seems to be doing good. Anyways...I think I'll go and eat some oatmeal...Peaches And Cream ...yummy! Bye for now...hope all is well
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
12:19 AM
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Monday, December 10
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omg this is taking forever...the whole comments thing
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:14 PM
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Dear God!!! I think it worked...the comments that is
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:45 PM
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I am having one of the hardest times with this damn blog!!!!!!!! I *will* fix it
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:35 PM
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AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:00 PM
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did it work this time?
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:40 PM
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why isn't the reblogger thingy working?????
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
3:34 PM
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Well, Codi *my big dog* is in the vet's becuase he is really sick :(:(:( I just hope they can make him better without having to do surgery! Because I don't have that kind of money...I need to find a thing like AmeriPlan for pets! LOL that would be funny. Oh well...I am waiting for the vet to call me and let me know what they have to do for him. I am so worried about him, even mom said she hopes he gets better. and thats sayin a lot becuase she thinks I should get rid of my muts...Oh well, for now I am enjoying the peace and quiet that will be over soon...
Love,
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:06 PM
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Sunday, December 9
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Ya know what? Well, neither do I ...LOL So just saying hi to everyone...I realized today that when you sleep for like 2 hours you feel more energized then you do when you sleep for like 18! I did everything I wanted to do today and it was done to the fullest!
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:44 PM
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Ok...I think i got a site meter...whatever...so how are you all doing today??? LOL I am good...i guess... i am running on no sleep but thats what happens when everyone but the adults in the house are sick
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
4:34 PM
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Saturday, December 8
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this came out of nowhere but i had put it in my web page and here troo...enjoy
*You need to love yourself before you can love others*
Some days, I feel like I could just sleep all day, I feel like I can't go on...But as I lay back and think more about it...I realize that is no answer!! I think of the love I have for life, I think of the love that the friends and family I hold dear to my heart have to give, I think of my son, my sweet little boy. How could someone so special and so sweet love me and care for me as much as he does?? I often wonder what he'll think of me when he is older, I often wonder if we will be close. But right now that doesn't matter to me, right now, I am spending every minute with him, loving him, caring for him, playing around and being a goof in his presence. That is what gets me out of bed, that is what I live for, I live for the moment, I live for my son, I live for all the love that has sourounded my life in the past few years. I am in love, I am in love with my friends my family and all that God has givin me. *In order to love others, you must first love yourself*...I used to think that was the most vein quote in the world...But now I see how it applies to life, I see how without that quote I wouldn't be as happy as I am, because I love the person that I am, and that is what that quote means. You need to love yourself, you need to accept yourself and be true to yourself, you need to learn that you are who you are and that won't change...When you have accomplished that...that my friends is when you are ready for the world...*Hi world! This is me, I am me, and I won't change for you...*
~Melissa Willey~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:05 PM
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Today, I told a story...I told a story to a friend...it was my story, my story about my life and how bad it has been. Everytime I tell *my story* I cry or clam up for days on end...But this time I didn't, I felt okay, I felt like what I was saying and feeling was okay, like the person on the other end was there for me and I didn't have to be afraid and I didn't have to go into details! It was nice...I never really had to tell anyone what was going on because they either witnessed the crime, or already knew just from the past and the look in my eyes.
I wasn't always loud and I wasn't always the first to jump up and tell you where to go and how I would help you get there...I was shy, sweet, and inocent...A lot has changed...I was the quiet kid, I got into trouble at school gbut never had the bad kid rep...The day I found out my family were a bunch of lying sacks of-------------- *fill in the blank*, my whole world turned over...then I got sick, I started to depend on daily shots and food measurements to live to see the next day....Thats when I rebelled...After countless times of hearing how I was nothing and how i would never be anything from some of the closest people to me...I gave up, I then began to make myself a nothing, I purposely did everything in my power to fail...but at the same time everyone was helping me do the best at failing...i had no help...Let me tell you all somewthing!
Your mom and dad or whoever you live with do not have the right to tell you who or what you are or who and what you'll be...they do not have the right to set your patrhs for you...You all have a heart a mind and a voice all your own...God gave it to you and he did not let his son die for our parents to tell us all the crap they want in order for us to be the way they want us to be...I am sorry if anyone is offended but its the truth...I am using my God given gift of speach and I am happy to do so. I will not sit back and watch someone ruin their child's life..I watch my world crumble at my feet when I was younger and today it is so clear, I wish I had more understanding then, i wish I had the full use of my voice and will power. I am so rambling...but i felt it needed to be said...I love you all and I am sorry for being a pain in the ass,.....
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
5:44 PM
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Friday, December 7
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Five years ago...when i got bored...I would ask my dad if I could go to the mall...Now when I am bored...I rack up astronomical phone bills and steam clean my apartment...But soon enough work will come and I'll get to do what I love...Talk on the phone! LOL I got an general idea of the bills in Colorado...as long as I stay south I'll be ok...some guy on yahoo told me his bills are like$120 a month... Now we have no clue what that includes but I am going on the notion of gas electri, phone, cable... but we'll see won't we?...
Josh got 2 call backs for jobs up there...pretty cool eh? I just hope me moving up there isn't going to be a problem with my job... i love that MY JOB.... I never have anything to show for myself but Eddie, you are my doll! Now keep in mind that this may not even happen... We have no clue how we will ever affford to go up there to even visit...Daddy got a great job offer...everyone is now entitled to pray that he gets it...my family is about due for a break...well i think i am tired now...i am gonna go and watxch what isn't on tv now...love you all sososososososoooooo very much
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:48 PM
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EDDIE IS AN ASS!!!!!!!
He was talking to me and now he is in a *nasty conference*...whatevah... I will get even... The baby is better now... he has meds and stuff...yay
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
5:37 PM
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OOOOOPS!!!!!!!!!!!
I completely forgot who exactly had the address to my webpages and stuff...MY PARENTAL UNITS!!!!!! Well mom is cool and so is dad...so I'm not toooooo worried about it... But if I am on the news and it's something like
*Tonight in prestigous Tampa Palms, A young mother bitch smacked back each and every family member, now in coma*
Don't all too worried cuz ya know I'll snap out of it just to get revenge...LOL I am in a good mood...uhhhhhhhhh.........hmmmmmmmmmmmm.............what to write what to write... Nothing all too great has happened so ....... OH YEAH!!!!!!! Branden is feeling better, well last i saw him he was...he's been sleeping, so before I go to bed I'll check on him and inform ya in the mornin...I think I'll go now and check on all the other web crap i do ............TTFN
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:00 AM
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Thursday, December 6
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Have you ever had the urge to listen to music you haven't heard in years? And to top it off it is some of the most unpopular stuff created???!!! Well I got like that this morning... So...I went online and downloaded on eof my stepmom's cds that we used to listen to over and over again on the weekends...It helped us get through the house cleaning and stuff...So I burned it onto a cd and have been listening to Allison Krauss for like an hour... Shes a great singer! So I am just waiting for josh to wake up and say something along the lines of...oh idont know...*MELISSA?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LISTENING TO?????!!!!!* LOL he doesn't like a lot of different types of music, me on the other hand...I have DMX, Jay Z, Garth Brooks, Red Hot Chili Peppers......you get the point...But anywho...Branden feels better...He feels good enough to use his full lung capacity...LOL I must go finish cleaning...Today is my sunday... I was supposed to do all of this BS yesterday but shit happens...TTYL
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:31 AM
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OK!
Well yesterday was stressful! Branden spiked a fever up tp 104!!!! I knew he was sick when he woke up yesterday... Ya see, Branden is very active and vocal...but he was just laying on Josh with his little thumb in his mouth... Then after he got up from his 4 hour nap!!!! He was pouting and he just kept drinking more and more juice...That was when I notived he was warm...then he was HOT so Mom and I jumped in the car and went and got feel good stuff. I set up his playpen in the livingroom and we held him a lot...I feel bad for him but I like it when he lest me just hold him...only problem...I can only do that when hes sick...So it's like I am crying cuz he looks so sad but I enjoy just sittin there holding him... It's confusing i guess...
He woke up pretty early and was still warm so he had more meds and laied down in his little play pen thingy... He is too cute... made a new friend! SO I won't have to bug Eddie and Annie so much!!! Aren't you guys happy?! LOL Well I am so rambling right now...coffee hasn't kicked in and I am FREEZING!!! so I'll go for now but you know me ...I'll have something to tell ya later...LOL I am sucha nerd! I luv ua guys and I am praying for you and the fam Annie!
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:05 AM
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Wednesday, December 5
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i thought today would be a better day... but i was wrong... now i am all pissed about my money *lack there of* so whateva.....
I know eventually I will be in a better mood!
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:16 PM
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Tuesday, December 4
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Please don't anyone else get mad at me! I am mad at no one but myself and I have taken it out on my voice... and now blogger...
After a day of singing *not over yet* I am starting to feel better... but I know when Josh comes home I'll be shut off vocally. He's a tv junky and the cable box is in the living room along with the stereo... see where we differ? I know I should think of me firt but I never do... I know that the rest of the world shouldn't matter as much as they do to me. I broke down today when an IM from a friend took too long! and when mom dissed me for someone else... I hate this! I can't stop crying and it's hurting my voice... i vowed to sing until i lost my voice and I think its working... thats the only way i'll shut the hell up. I am so sorry to anyone that i got to today... i am just so lost! an old friend is back in my life... thats a whole other story that i really can't begin to explain... don't ask... i hafta go now
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:57 PM
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Remember that *oooo, we set a date* thing? Well, nevermind! Josh doesn't want to get married until *we both feel comfortable with the idea*... What an ass he can be! I swear... Eddie was right! I rarely have anything positive to say about him! Now i don't even wanna be engaged to him until he decides he is *ready* for the WHOLE commitment. What I should do is change the locks and leave a note explaining my actions... damn! I sure can get vendictive. I'm not a yoyo! he can't keep using my emotions like one! Right? Or am I totaly out of line? I am sooooooo confused!
~dazed and confused~
~melis~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:13 PM
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I have had this blog for a really long time and have yet to see it in the directory... Oh well... such is life... I am sitting here going over all the crap I must do today... Yeah I know, like I will do it on my own... Talked to Eddie today... That boy needs to sleep more! Me on the other hand... I slpet great the past few nights! Yeah Baby!
So Annie had a good time lastnight. Very cool... I hope her dad gets over this... He reminds me a LOT of my dad! My dad constantly put me down, *you are such an idiot, you'll never amount to anything* blah blah blah. The worst pasrt was, I believed him, so I gave up trying! I am sorry if I am not a straight A student but that doesn't make me stupid. If he weren't so, well, John, i would think he was tryinh to use reverse-psychology, yet failed. Whatever!
So anywho... My boy toy has yet to rise into the world of the awake and aware, but that, i am used to. I just find other stuff to keep me busy. Yes, I am a internet junky... Ain't that a bitch?! Oh well.. I must go and find something else to do and some other people to torment
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:53 AM
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boo-freakin-hoo! i know. shut up meliss... but i don't have much to complain about today... its too early to do that!!!!! *LOL*
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
9:41 AM
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Monday, December 3
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DUDES!!!!!! *she says in a damn near teary voice* RE-BLOGGER IS GONE!!!!!! *now shes crying* Well i guess it doesn't matter no one ever used it! I wanted to add like amillion things on my blog but i am so not able to comprehend all the directions... I have no clue what they are talking about.....
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:17 PM
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Well. my back feels alittle better... but i still wish i had a life *LOL* how many people get happy about telemarketing? now there is something to think about. there are things i could do so i really shouldn't complain, however, i am scared i'll mess my back up for the next3 days again! So I am waiting until tomorrow to tackle the big stuff. Mom help[ed out a lot today... she cleaned my kitchen... but like always i went and messed it up with my sudden attack of hunger! LOL I am in a really strange mood... I am happy but I am all like *man, life sure did throw me a good one*... I fixed up my web page again... go check it out... I need help...lol... so whats up? i knwo no one will really answer that but i thought it was worth a shot... i am going to go mess around with some new templates...
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
10:13 PM
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Somebody PLEASE make th epain go away!!!!!!! It hurts to breathe!!!!!..... I know, all i do is complain. But hey... don't like it? you chose to read this! I have like no life and damn near no friends... all the friends i have, have lives of their own and dont have enough time to listen to me... But when someone needs me I am here and I like that. I like to be here for my friends and i like to know whats going on, even if they just wanna bitch! DOnt get me wrong, i love them and they are great! I just wish I had a life, but hey at least Eddie gave me something to do! LOL
~M~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:09 PM
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It has begun!!!!!
I put on my Mariah Carey Christmas cd today... Now all I need is snow! Any suggestions? I love this cd! Well... some of it. The only problem with christmas songs is that I get all teary-eyed when I sing them... Yep Candlelight was a big problem... But I loved it... Val, Steph and I are trying to go this year... It's a whole different experience when you watch it and aren't performing. I bet we'll be out there singing along and stuff. I think I'll go look up the dates now... TTYL!!!!
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:49 PM
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Sunday, December 2
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I really have no life!!! This is sad... All I did today was update my webpage and lay on the floor in SERIOUS pain!!!!! I needed a distraction so I called eddie and i felt bad for bugging him so I got off the phone and cried from the pain... I think next time I cry about it I'll go in my room and hide in my bed... I like hiding in my bed... its soft and stuff. its one of those pillow top thingies.... Ok... I cant sit here anymore... must rest...
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
6:36 PM
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Yeah, so sleep deprivation has caught me... But I will overcome... for I am the *great Meliss*! I know I need help... *this is one of those times where you realize why I made the title of my blog* We anyways... Talked to mom and shes all like *What are you doing today?* Hello! Same sh%$ I do everyday! *refresher* N O T H I N G!!!
Ok then... Annie sounds like she's doin good... She sounds happy.
Ya know what? I have a PIMPLE!!!!! About 2 yrs ago I thought to myself that *now I am a woman... I have no more silly adolesent troubles and the would is wrapped around my little finger* I was so very wrong! It's times when I get a zit, or realize I have to clean the kitchen and the rest of the house for that matter, that it hits me... those years I hated in OHS will be with me forever! I was made to clean up after myself and now I have to make myself do the dirty work.. Babysitting prepared me for what I do everyday with Branden, and when gram got real sick and taught me how to cook stuff... well I use that too. So as much of an adult I am , I am still a kid... I just lack the parental abuse and discipline of those horid years past. I never want to grow up and I have made myself and my close family VERY much aware of that. I may go off and get married, have a family and a house, but I will always be the Melissa Willey who goofed around and was always childish. I like being childish, it fits my style. I mean come on people... Who wants to see a 4'11 adult bossing people around and yelling all the time. I'm almost certain that one day I'll be more responsible or *adult like* in my ways but for now and until then I am happy with what I do and who I am. So if anyone feels the need to comment on that please do... i don't get many comments and I like to know what people think and who reads this thing anyways...
Love You All
~M~
KISS YOURSELVES FOR ME! *seeing as how I can't do it*
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:17 PM
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Lastnight I went tobed with a lot on my mind... As we sat there *niether of us falling asleep anytime sonn* I went and grabbed the Trivial Persuit cards and we sat there asking eachother questions our teachers never knew! Eventually I yawned and said I had tto go to sleep it was probably like 4 and josh said it was 405 and I freaked! You mean to tell me that we just sat there for 3 hours playing this game filled w/ usless information?! We laughed * we did that a lot* and fell asleep. We had fun lastnight and this is good! Because I had been wondering why we don't have fun anymore... But you just have to make time for the good stuff. In our hectic lives time does not come easy and something as simple as playing a silly game with each other can show you soo soosoosoo much! Yes, I am rambling but I only slept for 2 hours! GIVE ME A BREAK!! LOL
Man life sure is rough.......
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:23 AM
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Saturday, December 1
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*The wonders of Melissa's Blog*... What will she say next?! What kind of mood will be thrown your way?! Tune into *THE BLOGSPOT* for more esciting and rather entertaining news.....
So I need help
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
11:09 PM
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I soooooo need prof. help...
I am all luike in a really strange mood... I think I am happy! WOW!!! LOL I am sucha dork! But hey my few friends love me... Right? Please say yes:( LOL SO... Like I was saying in Annie's blog me and Eddie had a great, hot, date lastnight... It was fun... j/k Does anyone else think I need help? Because this is one of those things you aren't supposed to agrre with... but I'll forgive you guys this time if you wanna be honest. Honesty rock... sometimes... LOl I can't stop laughing... WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE!!!!!! I am on my 6th cup... and its a 3 cup mug! So that would make it.... a lot of cooffee? Ok.. I will go and torture some unexpecting bystander in the development because I have nothing else to do...
Love,
~M~
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~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
2:55 PM
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I thouht sleep was supposed to come natural?! I went to bed 3 times lastnight, fell asleep at 2am woke up at 3 went to bed at 330 woke up at 5 *went right back to sleep* woke up now at 7... what the hell???
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:11 AM
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I need to clerify something... I am the only Melissa Willey! If you don't know what i am talking about you should read my guestbook on my web page. Someone wrote that they are also Melissa Willey... I believe it but I AM THE ONE AND ONLY!!!!!!!!!!
Just so ya know:):)
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
1:10 AM
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