I Often Wonder About Myself...
Thursday, June 17
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I have never been one to run from my problems...but latly I see why others do.
My son, just turned 4 years old, still won't take a shit in the damn toilet! My daughter, just turned 1, won't be happy unless to give her what she wants when she wants it! I am at my wits end with these two!!!
Josh, completely freakin oblivious as to what my life consists of. He won't let me get a job...*you know what happens to you when you get too stressed out and when you worry about the kids*.... any taketrs on this one? Can we say Intenssive Care Unit at nearest hospital? Yeah, that's me lil miss ICU mom. LOL
But what Josh does not understand that being in this god foresaken apartment day after day not having people to talk to or places to go, drives me up the freakin walls! AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! I seriously can't wait to go to my dad's house. Oh, but wait! Even there...my group of buddies, yeah, no longer there or interested in hanging out with someone who has kids. Half of them don't even write back or return my calls!
This happens to me like clock work. It's the Melissa 2 year cycle of life. Every 2 years I have some sort of nevous break down and end up hating everyone I see cept my babies. Then I casually go back to Oviedo and try to have the life I did when I was 18, but it never lasts more than a few weeks, and I end up back at the begining.
My whole life there has been something in my way. Something inbetween me and the rest of the world. I hate to say it but the majority of my life it has been my father or father figure. Now I have Josh over here who gives me shit for visiting my mother for the day. I get there and 30 minutes later he starts calling me! *When are you coming home?.....*I want to spend time with you*. P~UH~LEASE!!! That man's idea of quality time is laying on the couch watching, yours truly, do the daily thing....cooking, cleaning, feeding, and wishing I were not at home...oh well......such is lofe.
~PeAcE~
~ Love * Love ~
~(~@ ~M~ @~)~
7:50 PM
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