I Often Wonder About Myself...

Friday, November 23


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* I AM VERY UPET... THIS IS NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR AND IF YOU READ ALL OF THIS THEN I LOVE YOU TONZ*


I am now so freaking bored I have cried! This is sick!!!! I have no friends... I have no life... I have no way to go to the mall and I have no money to spend.... I sit here and stare at the saqme walls over and over every day... I do the same routine each week. I am so sick of routine! I am so frustrated that God only knows how many typoes there will be in this entry, because I am sick of fixing my mistakes! I am not sorry if I am scaring you and I am not sorry if this is disturbing bercause it's not your problem and if you are reading this that isn't my problem. I am writing for me because I am upset and I need to vent. just picture this in a very loud yelling frustrated on the brink of tears voice and you will somewhat understand the true intensity of my feelings.!!!!

I am so sick and tired of hearing the same shit day in and day out! I hate being ignored and I hate it when you pretend to understand what I am trying to say! And ya know what really bugs me??!! When people just leave me here without asking me if I'll be okay, or if I need anything! I am sick not just today but everyday and I am expected to be here for everyone at anytime, I am expected to be able to do everything without help!

I don't think before I do things because I don't have time to do so. However I do try and think before I speak, because that is something you can't go renig on. I know the 10 second rule and I pften use it or else I would be a lot worse off.

I always come off as a nice person and I get along with damn near everyone and their cusin but sometime I have to be this way or else I won't be so nice the next time. I lewarned you can't let things build up onside... you have to vent and this goes for eveyone! Have you ever met someone that was just flat out mean???? I have and I seriously think its cuz they don't communicate their feelings when they really need to and so do I ... like today I am just flat out in a bad mood.!!!!!!!!

I love my family but there is much confusion here. Josh wants to move because he hates Tampa and I on the other hand have never been happier! I have lived away from my mom since I was 12 and it SUX BIG TIME!!!!!!!! Now she is right across the street and I love it... I can call her whenever and she can come over whenever! If we move... I'll only talk to her 3 times a week if I'm lucky and I 'll never see hjer anymore. I am so upset and confused *desufnoc* as Eddie Hollenbeck would say. well he used to. anywho I really have to go. I am going to write later when I am calm and tell you what is goin on.
~Melissa~

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2:52 PM
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